Every time I see someone that has had plastic surgery, I always wonder “Do they think they don’t look like someone who’s had plastic surgery?”

“ How do I get the broads to vote for me? I know. I’ll give a pardon to some dead broad”.

Was he upset because his female classmates didn’t want the “D"?

I will add this to the ever growing list of things about humans that I don't understand. 

“ But I’m a nice guy” they say right before they denigrate a woman for not dating/sleeping with them.

I’m undecided whether my first reaction should be “What a douchebag!” Or “Eeeeww“.

Better get Granny and Gramps to buy the Christmas presents for the grandkids before they leave for the seniors cruise. Bonus: Inheritance coming soon!

Or the dealer charged the Arizona tax and submitted the Colorado tax and pocketed the difference. 

Lol.

“Insufferable and pompous male. Seeks parter for brunch and beer tastings. Must enjoy feeling of superiority and snarky comments"

Just get the salesman to say “ real men drive real jeeps”

F.F.S. Will these idiots ever stop with the dick measuring contests and build a small affordable truck ?

“ No low ballers ! I know what I got !"

Why not just buy out the lease on his current car? He liked it enough to lease it and knows its history. 

Ding ! Ding ! Ding ! We have a winner!

Thank you. A classic.

“ Every time I hear him, I can’t figure out what the hell he’s talking about.”, will also be acceptable.

thats a happy doggo!

I am fortunate in that I don't know who any of these people are.  I also don't  care. Why does anyone else?

Rachel Dolezal can give her some pointers on being "no longer white."