Everyone else is beating around the bush:

I heard you’re from Austin. Tell me more.

You are totally correct. I’m 36, and I still go to TB about once every couple months when the mood strikes. It’s shit, and I know it, but it’s good shit.

Taco Bell thrives precisely because it never loses sight of what it is and who its customers are.

A vegan, an atheist, a Crossfitter, and someone who lives in Austin walk into a bar...

As a big fan of Mexican food, I both love Taco Bell and realize it is not at all anything Mexican. Like you can enjoy the artistry of professional boxing and still want to watch two drunk frat boys punch each other unconscious in the parking lot of a Church’s Chicken.

And Payet’s first goal was superb. Good bit of business.

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The amazing thing about The Pats and their *fan base* is that most of them didn’t give a shit about this team prior to 2001 but now they act like they’re The Green Bay Packers with 75 years of history. I remember back to the glorious days when Marino & Kelly would shit all over them and no one in Boston gave a shit…

No, dick, the difference is that when you cheat, the league covers it up. When another team cheats, they get nailed to the fucking wall. Sean Payton missed an entire year because “ignorance is not an excuse” yet your GLORYBOY gets to keep his rings and not miss any games because “he had no knowledge of what was going…

Why is it such a fucking shock to so many people that a fanbase consisting overwhelmingly of Irish Catholics has such a gigantic persecution complex?

The funniest thing about this?

Every other fans during “why your team sucks”- “Ha this is us, this is funny”

Pats fans- “Fuck you Drew you’re just a pats hater. WE ARE TEH BEST TEAM EVER!!!!!1!!!”

Something isn’t quite right here, I got through this entire article and there wasn’t so much as one mention of the Trump 2016 ‘Make America Great Again’ hat in Brady’s locker. This has to be some kind of mistake, I can only assume mentions of it were ment to be inserted where the asterisks are now. Please rectify this…

Patriots fandom is a filthy rich friend who takes you to the Bahamas but tries to roofie every girl you know.

He likes the Vikings. Every team gets roasted. Welcome to Deadspin.

I’m happy Seattle lost the Super Bowl so that Drew has plenty of time now to include the events of today into New England’s preview

A Pats fan read a whole article that isn’t a fawning fluff piece on “The Patriot Way?” You kidding.

Thanks for that.

The bombshell doesn’t exactly make Goodell look good here.