"Peter King does not regret the role he played in this incident."

Are you sure he's older than eight?

the constant use of "haha" in this context is like a dog whistle for "I'm creepy"

I want Charlie Langton to be the officiant at my funeral, running to my casket.

DougExeter, Deadspin commenter, had this covered almost 3 months ago:

I'm sorry your boss hates you so much. :(

"I learned it by watching you!"

Um, yes, the point is, it's not a book of One Single Female Pirate.

stage builder mode sounds really cool! Is there a way to share the created stages online?

ahem

someone please photoshop him into this

another great action set piece: the action scene in the body scanner was genius (and weirdly prescient in a TSA claustrophia kind of way).

[Papa John changes promotion to: "If 76ers win, provide affordable healthcare for employees."]

Is it

cue the "I apologize (sorry, apologise) if I offended anyone routine" in 3...2...1...

someone call WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN, because there's a NEW SILVER STANDARD in town, and Goodell just got nailed to a CROSS OF GOLD

Hey, wow, thanks!

think of it as the Lakers being the Too Many Cooks of the NBA, with old age and hubris being The Killer. Part of the joke is how long the joke goes on. Which isn't to everyone's taste, but I happen to enjoy the relentlessness of the Lakers' pile-on.

if you actually read the articles, they explain pretty much in every one, why they do it, and the depths of the horror.