other hypothetical: They don't actually get the #1 pick! Embiid never gets healthy. Noel becomes Oden 2.0. Saric never pans out. MCW turns out to be a stat stuffer on a bad team. They have insane amounts of cap space, but naturally no one wants to play there because their culture of extreme despair and losing has…

I think someone at Deadspin (was it you?) described stats-geekery-at-all-costs as "sports atheism".

oh and as the final nail in this coffin of Sad, here they are on the Home Shopping Network

Linnui

BTW, the line for Kobe's 44:

Didn't he make this exact face in Carnal Knowledge?

sorry, he slammed him into a camera truck, intentionally. I don't have any insight into his psyche any more than anyone else but I'm not going to split hairs between what's dirty and excessive. BTW I'm not saying he's the devil incarnate, just that his 'good guyness' is probably overrated.

wait so you're saying—in a thread showing him getting an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that's pretty clear it's an act of revenge—that he "isn't dirty"?

Wait, are potential concussions from slamming another human being into large pieces of equipment good or bad then? I'm confused

Wow, a lot of fainting couches are being used in this thread.

this exactly. You should get all the stars.

Yeah it's a much more complicated picture than Billy lets it onto be.

That's so funny because of the great Video Game Crash, they were trying to not so subliminally say: 'this is a toy! See? A robot!! Not video games! This is a toyyyy..."

All that was missing was a Jet lying down in the grass next to him.

Advanced Sports Stats as "sports atheism" is so, so perfect (and it's not about stats or atheism, per se, but the douchebaggy materialist reductionist strains of both)

I'd like to teach the world to sing

A league of hand-me-down players

yeah with that pedigree he has a severe case of Rambisitis.

also my favorite snippet from the broadcast vo is: "and Wesley Johnson comes down with it...well not quite..."

Thanks Deadspin for covering every single Laker fail this season. It warms my heart.