Why? To appeal to internet commentators, who are super-unrepresentative and don’t turn out in huge numbers? She has a large and consistent lead, along with what is almost certainly a considerably better turnout machine. Why should she fight to win dumb internet fights for you?

I disagree completely. You realise that Obama did this kind of thing too, right? You realise that Clinton has, for her entire public life, taken shit for things that is treated as unmentionably innocuous if done by literally anyone else?

Do private purchases of previously owned guns require a background check like other gun purchases?

Yes! Don’t make me feel like a douche for wanting to get ripped off my face on shatter, world. Oh well, I will somehow have to find the strength to carry on.

Yeah, most people are super fucking chill and rational about people that fuck their spouse. There is a Right Way for women to be cheated on.

What a truly inane television show to try and take a stand against a culture war occurring largely within the confines of your skull. Your identity seems founded on whining that people make fun of you for gobbling up shit with a spoon.

Aaaaaand that is Hillary’s fault? I realise that cognitive dissonance is hard to navigate, but you are steering into being a piece of shit rather than away. Fuck you.

It is too late to switch ballots, so even if Trump were to drop out, it would still be his name that folks see in the voting booth.

The ballot is set for (almost?) every state, with the deadline to change well past. Trump could announce that he would resign and let Pence become president if he were to be elected, but it would still be his name that voters would have to select in the voting booth.

You are surrounded by shitty friends and as such see shit in every direction.

I am not prone to freakshow bets, but in college I accepted the challenge to guzzle a five liter (1.32 gallon) jug of water without stopping from my roommates on a bored evening where I was feeling insecure enough to play the carnival geek. The bet was two dollars.

You are terrified of any sort of change that might force you to subsequently change your behaviour in any way.

You mistake yourself as a representative voter. How many consecutive federal elections have you voted in? If the number is less than three and/or you are under 35, you are not super likely to vote any way.

No, it really isn’t. Young people never, ever turn out. The key to Obama’s victory? Black women of any age. A group Clinton is doing really well with and whom turn out in huge numbers.

Yeah, I remember how the Columbia Heights redevelopment was spurred after they built a huge stadium there.

It isn’t like $17,000 goes a long fucking way in Ecuador or like you should pay a tiny portion of your salary to provide for children you parent. What a wacky dude!

Or it suggests that players have been taught reckless tackling techniques to appeal to shitlickers like you.

Yes, jail time is going to be helpful because it places an institutional barrier between her and her kids for at least some time after the immediate trauma, and will remain an impediment to that relationship being on her terms for the rest of her life.

And everyone is always on tenterhooks waiting for you to weigh in on whether a rape accusation you hear about in the news is true or not, so definitely take your fucking time before you offer your sure to be sage opinion.

No, that is bullshit.