Honestly, and I mean this completely honestly: kill yourself. Find something blunt that is nearby - no time to waste! - and just start battering it into your temples. Don't stop for anything. Not pain, not confusion, not dizziness, not the tempting embrace of unconsciousness. Get the job done.

Ha, no nominations for Hannibal. Everyone on earth including myself is a coward for not murdering the entire Foreign Press Association (as well as the Enmy nominators).

God this is a dumb entry into the Big Ol’ Dumb Book of Horse Race analysis.

New Hampshire has an INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE record in predicting who will be the Democratic nominee. Clinton won there in ‘08, Bradley massively over-performed there in ‘00, Tsongas won in ‘92, Hart won in ‘84, and Muskie won in ‘72.

Holy shit,…

Your tastes represent about 0.00001% of the human population, you fucking lunatic.

Yeah, and he doesn’t even look like he pushes off at all for elevation.

Or, perhaps, you could consider the possibility that the speech absolutism of the United States - a radical position that disproportionate benefits the extremely wealthy - is not the only possible model of morality or freedom, and that other systems can be both democratic and “free” while allowing for consideration of…

Tartan patterns were invented whole cloth by large scale Scottish textile manufacturers in the mid-19th century.

Oh boy. Folks don’t make $5 mil to star in a SyFy movie. Sharknado 3 - probably the biggest budgeted, highest profile movie that they have produced - had a TOTAL budget of $2.4 mil. Do you really think any non-Tara Reid actress made even a tenth of that budget? More like a hundredth, realistically.

He is currently spectacular on Penny Dreadful, secretly the best show on television (with Hannibal’s demise). I think he’ll be fine.

Your weird and pathetic defensiveness is a far more potent indicator of your shittiness than any other doofy comment you could have made.

Hey, most advanced stats show that Dirk is slightly above mediocre defensively! Over his career he is nearly 0.2 points per 100 possessions better than an average NBA player!

Nothing you will ever do will ever matter. Your suicide note will have multiple obvious grammatical errors. Your parents will feel nothing but relief.

I don’t disagree (the Suns were the worst for that), but I don’t think there is a Spanish word for diamondback (that isn't a dumb literal translation, that is)?

I know that regular features aren’t something y’all seem that interested in, but I would like this as a reoccurring thing.

Why don't you provide a positive model for assholes by killing yourself via immolation. BE A LEADER OF MEN.

ATTENTION HERE IS YOUR ATTENTION I AM PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU HERE IS MY SWEET ATTENTION YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL BOY YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL BOY PAY ATTENTION TO YOU YOU HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY

I don't think you have much insight into human nature or behaviour.

Or, like an adult, you can accept that the world is beset with uncontrollable imperfection and that the operative reality in which you exist is, in actually, only an analogue of empirical reality.

What does corporate taint taste like, exactly?

So, did you expect some validation for this, in which you mock a woman who was sexually abused as a comment to an article about how her many fans are trying to help her get out of a shitty situation?