Oh pissbaby, don't cry just because someone reminded you that literally no one gives a shit if you would fuck someone. Just remain mired in your own little piss puddle and angrily stomp around.

If your reaction to this story is either: yeah, I’d fuck that OR nah, that ain’t a real milf! than you are empirically speaking a fucking wanker, your entire personality subsumed under the need to rank everyone you see by whether, in an imaginary world in which ANYONE would be interested in your piss-scented…

No one gives the tiniest fuck about what standards you apply to the women you jerk off to, sad dipshit. Choke to death on your own clotted cum.

Yeah, the important part of this story is whether he accurately described the person he was objectifying, fucking dolt.

No one gives the teensy-tiniest fuck if a stranger meets the oh so essential standard of whether you will imagine having sex with them. Punch your sad member until it is mush.

Yeah, the problem with this story is clearly that the woman it targets isn’t attractive enough for the attention he gives.

God, what important insight! The world should - nay, must - no who you would hypothetically shove your withered member at. Honestly, if you didn’t let me know that you found a conventionally attractive woman potentially (and I am so glad that you couched it only as a possibility that you may have sex with someone who…

Don't project your insecurities on others. It is not a bad thing when someone analyses something seriously. You won't get made fun of for reading it.

You don't know what the words science, evidence, or debunked mean, you fucking dink.

You mean the 2014 elections where 51.6% of the 36.4% of eligible voters who turned out (the lowest turnout in 70 years) voted Republican? How is that a better metric than the vastly larger turnout in 2012?

Ah man, those bricks are perfectly good to smash in the Ricketts’ skulls too! What a waste!

Conservatives refuse to take responsibility for their actions and I demand everyone take their conspiracy theories about their own victimhood seriously. I refuse to be PC about this anymore: I think it is genetic.

Oh geez, another entitled conservative playing the ideology card. No one is ever going to respect conservatives until they quit whining about the whole world being against them.

I'm sorry that you are so enmeshed in political identity politics that you want private companies to be forced to employ, change rules for, and preserve criticism from conservatives, but I guess that's what being an entitled minority gets you.

Where they say that he very well may get different rules than other ESPN staffers? How does that make what you say make even a tiny bit more sense?

Because of earlier policy that suspended liberal staffers for making political statements? Did you not see the big link in the middle of the story? Oh my god Esteban, HAVE YOU GONE BLIND?!?!?

Black-and-white thinking is often a symptom of anxiety and depression. Perhaps bring up your dumb comment here in therapy this week?

Why the fuck do I need to know the age of someone I will never meet? Are you going to sue the producers of Pitch Perfect for false advertising? When she dies (hopefully centuries from now), will you protest her funeral? What fucking problem could you possibly have?

Since they are obligated under the terms of their employment to use the proprietary terms for sizes and since I would be fucking insane to invest any ego in giving the tiniest shit about what I call the sizes so long as my order is correct, I use the Starbucks ordering terminology so that the person taking my order…

Yeah, people should stop using the comment sections of articles to talk about the topic of the article, because that is taking shit a little too seriously, right? Instead, look for someone being too mean to someone else and lamprey onto their asshole with all the dedication in the world. In between licking flecks of…