I covered Capitol Hill as a reporter for a number of years and I always found Sessions to be polite, calm, and gracious in giving his time to answer questions. I also found him to be rather dim.

First story and we have a winner. No others need apply...

If it really was some kind of attempt at parody, the writer failed to heed Harry Shearer’s very wise advice: Comedy should be left to the professionals.

“Rage Yoga” pretty much sums up my day at work today.

“I mean, she licked a lot of people, sir. So everyone kind of talked about the fact that she licked people. That’s what she did when she got drunk.”

I can’t even think of what to say about this.

It will be the screenplay for “The Post” with all the occurrences of “Washington” and “Post” hastily scratched out.

I always thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t find Louis CK even remotely funny - and it seems like everyone I know did. I am grimly relieved to know that I had it pretty much right all along.

I spent some time with this game. Got to about the same point as the author. Enjoyed it a little. Then I decided that I had already played this game - several times over - and went back to No Man’s Sky Next.

It would be too much to say I “Like” his beard, but I do think it is a great improvement. He actually looks mostly human, rather than like Dobbie the House Elf’s even creepier cousin, Ted the House Troll.

My wife is 50 and I think she’s pretty hot still. And anyway, while I admire a 25 year old as much as the next guy, I think it’s creepy at my age to be thinking dirty thoughts about them.

My wife has almost always made way more money than me. And I think it’s awesome. What kind of idiot doesn’t want a well-off spouse?

The Seanibus WeeWee is camera shy, fortunately

Maybe I’ll amend the principle to be “Assume that nobody on earth wants to see a photo of your dick - unless they specifically ask for one...”

If men would just start from the perfectly reasonable premise that nobody actually wants to see photos of our dicks, the world would be a better place.

I sorta wish they had stuck with the old cartoon-era Aquaman vibe, because we have the perfect person to play the old-school Aquaman: Mike Pence:

Actually, having done both things, I can say that Parenting While Hungover is #2 on the bad list. #1 is working in a deep-dish pizza restaurant kitchen while hungover is far worse. Kids do, at least take occasional naps and sometimes do cute and rewarding things. A 750 degree pizza oven just makes you sweat out the…

This is weird, since the darker beers are generally easier to screw up on and still make a drinkable beer (which is why every homebrewer has a stout or porter in the recipe book). You’d think they would struggle with the lighter, hoppier stuff than the dark stuff.

“a glitch preventing Medic from reviving fallen teammates?” It’s known as “death.” It’s a feature in the game of life, not a bug.

“If I’m eating at a Burger King, it’s because something awful has happened”

Really, when you’re running against Ted Cruz, who looks like a snowman who has somehow survived into summer and is now regretting his longevity, you really profit by the comparison in the looks department. I am sure Beto is plenty hot on his own, but he’s absorbing bonus point for simply not looking at all like his…