This is weird, since the darker beers are generally easier to screw up on and still make a drinkable beer (which is why every homebrewer has a stout or porter in the recipe book). You’d think they would struggle with the lighter, hoppier stuff than the dark stuff.

“a glitch preventing Medic from reviving fallen teammates?” It’s known as “death.” It’s a feature in the game of life, not a bug.

“If I’m eating at a Burger King, it’s because something awful has happened”

Really, when you’re running against Ted Cruz, who looks like a snowman who has somehow survived into summer and is now regretting his longevity, you really profit by the comparison in the looks department. I am sure Beto is plenty hot on his own, but he’s absorbing bonus point for simply not looking at all like his…

Plus all those fancy classes and auditing and stuff make it possible to use the phrase “ne plus ultra” in public without the slightest shred of shame or irony.

I am having a teeney bit of trouble wrapping my head around the Trump-Sessions beef. Has the president forgotten that he is, like, the president and can pick up the phone and call his attorney general pretty much anytime of day or night? Or even summon him to the White House and yell at him all he wants in person? His…

Ok, so you’re old fashioned. Know what else is “old fashioned,” Rudy? Slavery. Colonialism. Human sacrifice. Cannibalism. Crapping in the stream out behind your shack. Going to bed at sunset because you have no means of artificial illumination. Eating raw meat because you haven’t discovered fire. Do you believe in…

When my younger son was in fourth or fifth grade, he explained that he doesn’t study because he “wanted to make the tests harder.” Seems like a perfectly reasonable approach.

There have been lots of historical comparisons made with Trump, including Mussolini, Silvio Berlusconi, Kaiser Wilhelm and others. But I am beginning to think a better comparison might be Czar Peter III, the short-lived husband of Catherine the Great. He reputedly hated being Czar and was far too shallow and feckless…

My mom really did mean “maybe” but usually with a mildly possible twist, as in “maybe we’ll all have a Popsicle when we get home.” My father, on the other hand, would say “we’ll see,” which was short for “we’ll see how long I remain breathing and able to make sure that does not happen under any possible circumstances.”

Cheney went on to discuss his approach to pet ownership, which he describes as “enhanced petting.” The technique reportedly involves sharp sticks and red hot irons, but he insisted that only “girly-men and Democrats” would describe such expressions of love for pets as “torture.”

If we ever needed a direct window into Trump’s world view, it is provided in this line:
“91% of the Network News about me is negative (Fake)“

No, he will not get fired. First he will expand in a ball of fire, consuming everything in his orbit, then he collapse back into himself, creating a black hole out of which nothing but ego will radiate. But Rudi will NOT get fired.

Kim has achieved something remarkable here: She has somehow figured out how to take a photo of a voluptuous human female in a state of undress that is complete devoid of any erotic charm.

This is the exact reason why I insist on driving a Jeep and refuse to use Mac products - if something is too comfortable or easy, then it must not be worth doing.

Some of the great old classics are probably out there on the used market: Traveller, which was “No Man’s Sky” before there was “No Man’s Sky,” Gamma World, which was “Fallout” before there was “Fallout,” the post-apocalyptic Twilight 2000, where you were a team of soldiers stranded in Europe after a NATO-Soviet war…

So to summarize: Just say no to drugs; Just say yes, please to junk food. Got it:
“This is your brain on drugs. This is a Wendy’s double cheese burger combo.”

My wife and I got all nostalgic and decided to show our hyper-literate, video-game-loving, almost-grown-up sons “Pulp Fiction,” a movie we loved at the time but haven’t seen in maybe 20 years. And damned if we weren’t all bored stiff. We quit half way through and nobody was sorry.

Made it 1 minute, 49 seconds and then I was 5 years old again. Thanks for making me cry at work...

That’s the perfect elevator pitch: “It’s like Twitter but with no Nazis”