In college I cooked in an Italian restaurant (a very bad one, I might add). The Lasagna was among the least offensive things we served - bordering on good, actually - but it happened to take 15 minutes to cook since it was prepped in the morning and refrigerated throughout the day. I cannot count the number of times…

OK, I know I am totally becoming One of Those People, but this is NOT the Stars and Bars. The “Stars and Bars” was the national flag of the Confederacy. It looked like this:

Gah, this drives me nuts. This is not a “paradox,” it is “Fermi’s Logical Fault.” Or perhaps “Fermi’s question begging.” A paradox suggests two conflicting facts or truths. Fermi was, in fact, engaging in question-begging speculation. His question presupposes that space travel is possible and practical, desirable, or…

I had a boss at one deli-type place who used to arrive every morning with a 7-11 SuperBigGulp of soda. He’d finish the soda and start filling his cup from the beer tap, sucking it through a straw throughout the day. He liked to hit on women, telling them he “built nuclear subs,” because, you know, “Nuclear Sub” was…

Are there any photographs of this woman where she does not wear an expression of unspeakable love and devotion? When you’ve lived with the same person for decades, even in a happy, satisfying, monogamous way, this is an extremely unnatural state to be in while in their presence, at least a for the most part.

Yes, Trax. I miss that place. The kind of place where you could see Molly Hatchet and Robyn Hitchcock in the same year.

When I went to cover the CD release party for the Dave Matthews Band, for their breakthrough album in their home town of Charlottesville, Dave just glared at me and grunted and refused to answer any questions. His manager, seeing I was speaking to him, swooped in, grabbed Dave, and hauled him away from me, so I had…

Causes of Dadbod:

That was a very upsetting story. We stumbled on it and were hooked immediately. She seems completely delusional and the husband seemed about as ill at ease as any person I have ever seen interviewed for one of these kinds of shows. His comments suggested he is tepid about his relationship and feels trapped. It was a…

The Tumblr prank this year is pretty funny - they have introduced "Coppy the Copier" based on the hated Clippy from Windows. I find it hilarious, but my Tumblr-using son hates it. Which makes it even more hilarious, because that's exactly how I felt about Clippy.

Strangest of all are the apartment houses around the Big Blue HQ in east Hollywood, the old Cedars Sinai complex. We used to live in the area and I had to drive by these places in the morning to get my son to preschool. There are several blocks of apartment houses - lovely old art deco places - occupied by SeaOrg…

I had a friend in high school who was always late for everything. His stock excuse? "I had to go to Springfield Mall." The best part was he always said it as if it were the most self-evident fact of life and he could barely believe that we would dare question his need to be at Springfield Mall rather than doing…

I am trying to pickle myself from the inside out. Does that count?

This is exactly the way I like to exercise my power as a boss. I like to go up to my subordinates unexpectedly and use a pointer and extravagant gestures while I lecture them in great detail about what it is they are doing. I like to issue arbitrary deadlines and change their priorities mid-project.

I love Firefox. The only reason I use Chrome is that some (but not all) of my corporate sites work better on Chrome and also sometimes, for no reason I can determine, Firefox gets tetchy about displaying PDF files. Other than that, gimme some that Old Time Firefox any day.

I like nekkid women as much as the next guy (or in in this case, as much as the next mob of 60 thoroughly modern feminist lesbians), but I read this wishing I could have chimed in to warn them that strip clubs are soul-crushing pits of existential despair that cannot be redeemed even by the sight of bare breasts. And…

Well, that just supports the following spectacular press release I received at work this week:

Earth's sister planet is the Bible's burning lake of fire

I know I am showing my age, but it gives me hives to know that this:

I would definitely support a label on all food products that are "DNA-Free." That would be information I could use.

I am holding out for the return of the mainspring-driven watch.