Crap. Next you'll tell me it wasn't a long long time ago either.

Clove is one of those spices that should be used only by highly trained professionals, equipped with proper safety equipment. It is not for use around children, pregnant women, or the elderly. I actually have a beef stew recipe that calls for cloves. I happen to like it, but everyone I have ever dated, married,…

Sixth Sense. The second of the gunshot, I knew exactly how the movie would end, and the rest was just a tedious slog through all the predictable malarkey that M. Night Shyamalan tries to cram down our gullible throats as suspense and portentousness.

Indeed. I thought the same thing.

GammaWorld. Remember that one? A cool post apocalyptic take on D&D.

Accept no substitutes.

The whole Silence thing seemed weird. Like, there were these insane supervillans controlling all of human history and intertwined into everything and everyone and then...

Golf without Tiger? Well, it will get really tedious to watch on television.

In the newspaper business, a handful of people (ie oldheads like me) still say "off the boards" to mean layout is finished (from the day when layout was conducted on lifesize dummies on huge boards rather than on sleek Macs). Even young pups still talk about "ledding," which referred originally to inserting thin lead…

Bad sequels DO make good movies worse. Darth Vader was super scary and mysterious in the original movie, but by unveiling his back story, he was revealed as a nothing but an immature crybaby-turned-bully. He goes from being a relentless avatar of galactic evil to being some loser with a weapon, like the sadsack school…

It frightens me that I understand most of the references the costumed people were making.

Right. All these young punks with their so-called "parachutes." Gravity was good enough for my ancestors. Just jump off the damned cliff or don't already, none of this drifting gently to the ground nonsense.

Don't forget rocks. Chipped stone hand axes were technology too.

Not ok. Even if it is magnificent in every respect. Not. O. K.

And in the old days, we ate the neighborhood children too. And the LIKED it.

Clothes. A commercial failure. A passing fancy. In MY day we swung from branch to branch in a tree stark naked. And we LIKED it.

The point is that both wristwatches and eye glasses ARE technology, albeit technology that we now take for granted. And it seems fair to say that they have been wild commercial successes, despite being wearable. For that matter, clothes and shoes are technology as well.

Yeah, it's too bad that the wristwatch and eyeglasses were such failures. Wearable technology indeed - just a passing fad, I say.

An oldie but frightfully plausible goodie:

Think of it more like a video game. Your character in a video game is the absolutely BEST and LUCKIEST motherfucker in the world. Thanks to the Save-Reload function, every stupid decision, ever bad break, every misstep is erased and the version of you who survives to the end is the one who navigated every single close…