I once, for no reason other than pure spite, told a panhandler in DC to fuck off. He ran after me, caught up with me at an intersection, and quite rightly gave me a scathing and profoundly articulate lecture about respecting his humanity. There really wasn't much response I could offer other then feeling…

What upsets me about Rob Ford is that he outweighs me by at least 150 pounds and he still has a better vertical leap than I do.

Good thing Catholic University wasn't playing North Texas.

Such a theory ignores the fact that no car should be going in excess of 90 mph in this (or any area) in the first place. It is sort of like blaming the owner of a tree or building for placing it in the path of a speeding vehicle. Or blaming the ground for the fatal impact of a falling airplane.

Whaddya call a herd of cows in a field masturbating?

Possibly, but such people are allowed to vote, which is a problem sometimes.

Holy shit - Until you mentioned "health fairs" I was wondering if you might have been my successor (one of many, all short-lived) at a non-profit where I worked briefly. I could have written this same story almost word for word. Chilling.

Interesting analysis, but I partially disagree that "NO non-black person uses the internal value of the word "nigger" as a justification for a non-black person to keep using the word." There are plenty of those who do argue (stupidly) that because black people use the word, there is some kind of unacceptable double…

This just makes me sad.

29) Question: Why the fuck do you keep putting "quotation" marks around "words" when they are not in fact "Quotes?"

Does including a '72 Charger really help in recruiting the younger generation?

In high school I never game much thought to Bill Simmons. My friends and I just assumed he was some kid we didn't know. After I graduated from college, I continued not to think much about him because, after all, I had never heard of the dude. But that all changed today, when I read a portion of an essay which was…

Damn. When you start throwing grenades, we know you MEAN it.

Blowing kisses to the hot chicks in section 304.

"made of Fat and Wet Wipes." Somewhere in that phrase lies a really outstanding punchline, but it hasn't come to me yet.

The more I hear about this wedding, the happier I am that I was not invited.

The Chevy company found a way to make the Citation hatchback exciting - slap a nice luxury interior in there, change the name, and, most importantly, put an engine under the hood that breaks down constantly and has such unusual parts that it is expensive and nearly impossible to repair in a timely manner. Such was my…

My grandmother drank Schaefer, but mostly because it only cost $1 per sixpack at the Bi-Lo grocery store. No other reason.

As an old war philosopher once said, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you want.

I thought the same, until I got hungry and ate at a Huddle House. And I realized that no matter how much Waffle House may FEEL like hitting bottom, there is still farther to fall.