Damn. When you start throwing grenades, we know you MEAN it.

Blowing kisses to the hot chicks in section 304.

"made of Fat and Wet Wipes." Somewhere in that phrase lies a really outstanding punchline, but it hasn't come to me yet.

The more I hear about this wedding, the happier I am that I was not invited.

The Chevy company found a way to make the Citation hatchback exciting - slap a nice luxury interior in there, change the name, and, most importantly, put an engine under the hood that breaks down constantly and has such unusual parts that it is expensive and nearly impossible to repair in a timely manner. Such was my…

My grandmother drank Schaefer, but mostly because it only cost $1 per sixpack at the Bi-Lo grocery store. No other reason.

As an old war philosopher once said, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you want.

I thought the same, until I got hungry and ate at a Huddle House. And I realized that no matter how much Waffle House may FEEL like hitting bottom, there is still farther to fall.

Your sense of irony is showing some promise.

Fancy is relative. In this case, relative to Huddle House.

You are unjustly leaving out Huddle House, which is the low-rent competitor of Waffle House (fancy people in the South go to Waffle House; poor people, cretins and methheads go to Huddle House for their undercooked fried eggs and greasy, floppy bacon).

My flow chart for my most recent vehicle purchase looked like this:

Oh, come on - you just know that every struck-out batter in history was thinking EXACTLY this.

You should not, ever, just quit showing up with a major project due within a week of the scheduled end of your internship. Seriously - this is a very bad way to proceed. I know. Someone actually did this to my company once. He didn't get a whole bunch of recommendations outta that one.

This was an excellent and affecting story, but I must say I stand in awe of the following sentence, which by itself makes the entire super-long piece worth the read:

I know the German military vehicles were made by Volkwagen, but were they the same engine design as the Bug?

I have never tried to use a classic VW bug as a combat vehicle, but as I recall, the fuel line placement gave them a very unfortunate tendency to catch fire at random moments (I know two people who have had their classic Bugs simply burst into flame thanks to leaky fuel lines - no accident, no previous obvious damage,…

Hm. Perhaps I will go home and attempt to ingest my favorite mind altering substance with my genitals too. My wife will wonder why I am dipping my member in a mug of beer rather than just drinking the liquid with my lips as usual. But it could be a potentially interesting starting point for a conversation.

I am absolutely totally hooked on this game, even now. At first I was sort of indifferent to it - seemed like an Oblivion retread and I got a slow start. But it has possessed my imagination, much to my wife's irritation.

really, all I want to know is when someone, anyone, will make a Civ II version suitable for play with Windows 7 and above. This year I want to party like it's 1995.