I thought the same, until I got hungry and ate at a Huddle House. And I realized that no matter how much Waffle House may FEEL like hitting bottom, there is still farther to fall.

Your sense of irony is showing some promise.

Fancy is relative. In this case, relative to Huddle House.

You are unjustly leaving out Huddle House, which is the low-rent competitor of Waffle House (fancy people in the South go to Waffle House; poor people, cretins and methheads go to Huddle House for their undercooked fried eggs and greasy, floppy bacon).

My flow chart for my most recent vehicle purchase looked like this:

Oh, come on - you just know that every struck-out batter in history was thinking EXACTLY this.

You should not, ever, just quit showing up with a major project due within a week of the scheduled end of your internship. Seriously - this is a very bad way to proceed. I know. Someone actually did this to my company once. He didn't get a whole bunch of recommendations outta that one.

This was an excellent and affecting story, but I must say I stand in awe of the following sentence, which by itself makes the entire super-long piece worth the read:

I know the German military vehicles were made by Volkwagen, but were they the same engine design as the Bug?

I have never tried to use a classic VW bug as a combat vehicle, but as I recall, the fuel line placement gave them a very unfortunate tendency to catch fire at random moments (I know two people who have had their classic Bugs simply burst into flame thanks to leaky fuel lines - no accident, no previous obvious damage,…

Hm. Perhaps I will go home and attempt to ingest my favorite mind altering substance with my genitals too. My wife will wonder why I am dipping my member in a mug of beer rather than just drinking the liquid with my lips as usual. But it could be a potentially interesting starting point for a conversation.

I am absolutely totally hooked on this game, even now. At first I was sort of indifferent to it - seemed like an Oblivion retread and I got a slow start. But it has possessed my imagination, much to my wife's irritation.

really, all I want to know is when someone, anyone, will make a Civ II version suitable for play with Windows 7 and above. This year I want to party like it's 1995.

Considering most people were waiting two minutes for one grainy nudie pic to download over AOL at that point, this must have looked pretty damned high tech.

"Not supportive of it at all"? This woman has the single most patient husband ever. "Not supportive" would be the mildest possible way of describing my reaction if my wife suddenly decided that hooking was her new hobby.

Unfortunately, this business about browsing through people's data is not new and not confined to Apple. I know people who have worked in computer stores, and pre-computer photo labs, who have admitted to copying, keeping, and circulating salacious, embarrassing, or silly content from customers. This doesn't make it…

Oh, come on. the Third Amendment is both the best and the worst. It is all kinds of awesome, 'cause we don't have soldiers all like, "hey, I am taking your bed and eating your food. Can I get a fresher-up on my coffee?" But it also sucks 'cause nobody needs such an amendment, apparently.

I am not a gun nut by any means (ie. I don't own any and don't intend to) but this annoys me because I value precision above rhetoric in legislation: "Assault Rifles" are a very specific type of firearm that is already tightly regulated in the United States and therefore extremely difficult to get. Specifically, they…

The original Myspace was useful, but only because I am a news reporter. Unlike facebook, Myspace allowed Google to take snapshots of profiles, so when someone, say, killed someone or took off for Uruguay with his entire corporate pension fund in his briefcase, chances were good you could find all or most of his…

The website GOG (Good Old Games) did a great update of the whole series of Baldur's Gate-based games a couple of years ago, minus the extras detailed here. My kids love it almost as much as I did when they were released.