Hm. Perhaps I will go home and attempt to ingest my favorite mind altering substance with my genitals too. My wife will wonder why I am dipping my member in a mug of beer rather than just drinking the liquid with my lips as usual. But it could be a potentially interesting starting point for a conversation.

I am absolutely totally hooked on this game, even now. At first I was sort of indifferent to it - seemed like an Oblivion retread and I got a slow start. But it has possessed my imagination, much to my wife's irritation.

really, all I want to know is when someone, anyone, will make a Civ II version suitable for play with Windows 7 and above. This year I want to party like it's 1995.

Considering most people were waiting two minutes for one grainy nudie pic to download over AOL at that point, this must have looked pretty damned high tech.

"Not supportive of it at all"? This woman has the single most patient husband ever. "Not supportive" would be the mildest possible way of describing my reaction if my wife suddenly decided that hooking was her new hobby.

Unfortunately, this business about browsing through people's data is not new and not confined to Apple. I know people who have worked in computer stores, and pre-computer photo labs, who have admitted to copying, keeping, and circulating salacious, embarrassing, or silly content from customers. This doesn't make it…

Oh, come on. the Third Amendment is both the best and the worst. It is all kinds of awesome, 'cause we don't have soldiers all like, "hey, I am taking your bed and eating your food. Can I get a fresher-up on my coffee?" But it also sucks 'cause nobody needs such an amendment, apparently.

I am not a gun nut by any means (ie. I don't own any and don't intend to) but this annoys me because I value precision above rhetoric in legislation: "Assault Rifles" are a very specific type of firearm that is already tightly regulated in the United States and therefore extremely difficult to get. Specifically, they…

The original Myspace was useful, but only because I am a news reporter. Unlike facebook, Myspace allowed Google to take snapshots of profiles, so when someone, say, killed someone or took off for Uruguay with his entire corporate pension fund in his briefcase, chances were good you could find all or most of his…

The website GOG (Good Old Games) did a great update of the whole series of Baldur's Gate-based games a couple of years ago, minus the extras detailed here. My kids love it almost as much as I did when they were released.

It does seem to me that there is a certain amount of common sense in this notion: gaming is a wonderful way of avoiding problems, real or perceived, allowing a person who is depressed to distract himself or avoid the issue or enter an environment where there is some artificial sense of control. Of course, there are…

They will be amazed when they discover DNA evidence that suggests that Mars was once populated by gators and manatees.

They have discovered that all that so-called "Dust" on Mars is actually a mix of ground cinnamon and high-grade cocaine.

As a refugee from the East Coast now living in California, let me assure you that massive coastal snowstorms actually suck. A lot. Oh sure, the snow is all pretty and fun the first day, but by about day three, you'll be sick to fucking death of wading through dirty, icy, dog-pee infested snow piles to get where you…

I have often thought I could make a fortune with a line of bumper stickers and window placards reading "Probable Cause on Board."

Ah, Analog. I subscribed throughout my youth, but I haven't seen it in years. I don't recall that story though.

Gaming for me is merely an excuse to upgrade my equipment. Most upgrade/replacement projects have been driven by the specs of some hot new game. And yet they also usually happen to improve the functionality of my machines for business purposes too. Who knew that Baldur's Gate and Black Ops and Skyrim were productivity…

It is well known that neither Thomas Jefferson nor Ronald Reagan ever existed. Teddy Roosevelt, meanwhile, was merely a grossly exaggerated version of an elderly Jewish tailor from the Bronx who died alone in his tenement apartment in 1904.

In other news, scientists report that the sun had a massive erection today,extending some 186,000 miles into space and lasting more than four hours. And in sports...

First, do not stick me with a fork under any circumstances. Second, silk ties are expensive so please do not ruin my limited stock by smearing them with bodily secretions or oils. Please keep that nasty, lint covered pocket change off your body parts and mine. And get the fuck off my earlobes. That hurts.