I love the way he brings in all-caps "LOGIC" when he reaches the apex of nonsensical doublespeak. I honestly would have thought those tweets came from some kind of parody feed.

I thought this was going to be a post about the quixotic quest for high-octane gas. I owned a Mitsubishi Eclipse for a couple of years—hardly exotic, but really fun to drive—and it had to have 93 octane. I discovered two things: 1) Not all high-octane gas is created equal (I'm looking at you, Shell), and 2) Green Bay,…