He’s just trying to sell some Scrummy Bars, man...

“Gawker Media Responds To The New York Times” is one of my favorite subjects around here.

I get all cranky when people attribute every damn thing to Einstein or the Dalai Lama or Gandhi (usually spelled “Ghandi” to boot). Like this fucking thing.

I’ll never get sick of this.

After your last image, I... I have to post this:

It gets easier as your taste buds adjust. I’m not a super health nut, but a number of people in my family have wound up developing diabetes as older adults and I just don’t want that to happen, so I started cutting back on sugar and amazingly enough, I almost don’t even like candy or desserts anymore. It’s kind of…

I’m the best at this.

This right mother fucking here.

I spent four years home with my kids and thought I would very much enjoy the time away. Turns out I really miss my kids now that I am back to work. Not saying I would leave my new job but I can understand and empathize with other fathers who want as much time with their kids as possible.

[reads word “songhazi”]

In the end A.J. really did ruin Deadspin, just in a much more roundabout manner.

The penis is a very persuasive part of the body.

They learn to squirt out of the nest.

I’m pretty sure Hernandez was the one making threats, not receiving them.

Perfect non-trolls who can’t get followed by the Slot!

I love the abundance of caution Tim is using here to avoid using the word bicycle.

Wait, am I still made of moonbeams and star shine?