Not surprised by some of the others that did make it.

“What are the odds?! No, seriously, what are the odds?” - Joseph Randle

Fuck the HGH investigation, I want to know when Peyton Manning started injecting Don Knotts’s DNA.

This is truly the most apt reply to the whole “holy grail of sports” thing. I’m old enough to have watched it live and I can’t remember if I did. Other than a once for curiosity sake, who cares? (Although I think Vince’s wedding was probably in super 8).

There was some media outlet that organized the crowdfunding of the Rob Ford crack smoking tape. Super Bowl I has to be less controversial than that.

It’s fucking scary how perfect that picture is. Like O’Malley knew the Horta was coming for him the day he announced.

Leicester as a whole are in irresistible form. Mahrez could have scored and Okazaki continues to be the non-stop hustling flea who was also denied a goal. This team has become a sports story that will rival anything Hollywood has dreamed up. This is ‘69 Mets stuff right here and they’re doing it in a league where this…

Over the shoulder first time half volley. Top shelf.

The U-pick-em pro-life responses to the Zika Virus:
“They shouldn’t have traveled to a third world country.”
“They shouldn’t live so close to a third world country.”
“They should’ve lived in another country.”
“They shouldn’t be having sex.”

Manning soon clarified that it was Ashley who hit the fountain of youth, and he threatened to sue Ponce de León.

I’d be more suspicious of Cassel, and his three picks in the game, then a guy claiming injury while his teammate racks up 150+ rushing yards.

If ‘Megatron’ keeps his word, that leaves his career numbers as follows: 83* touchdowns on 731* receptions for 11,619* yards.

Leave it to the Lions to completely crush the joy out of one of the best RBs and one of the best WRs to ever play the game. So much so that each would rather retire than continue playing. Well done Detroit.

Johnson technically is not allowed to retire. He is locked into a two year contract on my fantasy football team and you better believe I will take him to court if he refuses to play.

How does this stupid shit have so many stars? Take your dumbass back to Gawker.

Couldn’t find the link to the Jason Gay article, so LMGTFY:

Life when so much simpler when you could just drain your blood from yourself, separate the red blood cells with a centrifuge, have your team carry it around in a cooler on dry ice while hiding it from officials, and then give yourself a transfusion of your own blood before a race.

Because 15-year-olds shouldn’t have 12 million dollars.

Maybe it’s booze, combined with two highly dysfunctional, co-dependent people who ought not be together any longer?

The hall of fame will still take a murderer over a gambler.