Bah! I had an entire reply written out to you and some accidental keystrokes and Kinja voodoo just replaced my huge wall of text with a fucking /.

/

Dear God, I don't usually go for the fratty, blond, all-American type, but Chris Evans can Get It.

If you're looking for a place to channel your rage, I suggest donating to Annie's List, Battleground Texas, or, of course, Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte.

Definitely not me (sad trombone noise). But I wonder if this is an Adams Morgan problem, because my neighbors do the same damn thing.

Agreed. He certainly shouldn't be higher on the "Beloved" scale than Ryan Lochte.

ME TOO!! Hi neighbors!!! I'm resisting the urge to run outside and find him.

BAHAHA, QueenGrey's reaction is kind of the same as mine. But at the same time, intellectually... I know that you're right, humans are much scarier to apes than they should be to us. But I'm cool around rodents, snakes, [most] bugs... I'm reserving monkeys as my irrational fear. Needless to say, Planet of the Apes…

Shhh, no one notices if you steal the animals if you do it before 8am!

Okay, I am so glad that someone else finds them scary. Whenever they're out and about on their crossing ropes, I pretty much flee and hide near the elephants. Apes, man. Terrifying.

Also, this little guy has only been there for a couple of weeks! They just introduced him into the habitat on June 10th. I run through the zoo each morning, and I've been making a point to stop at the red panda habitat to try and see him (so far with no luck). This makes me so sad! And also, very WTF at the National…

DUDE, I live near the zoo too, and this was literally my first reaction! Or even worse, I'm scared that I'm going to see him in a furry pile in the middle of Connecticut :(

That's what I've been hearing too.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. But kudos to you for being an excellent bride, destination hostess, and party thrower. I bet it was a blast :)

This sounds just like my best friend's wedding! It was an expensive destination, but they put together an amazing trip (with plenty of personalized touches, very similar to the ones you mentioned!) to make sure that we all had fun. And in return, even though I was at my poorest and had blown most of my money on the…

His comment is awful, but I have to admit that I'd probably have second thoughts about my friends' marriage if one of them told me that the point of a wedding was to make money. The 'legal' part of the comment was where he lost me, though.

I'm thinking the equivalent of a stag party, but for two brides?

I am proud to report that my best friend and I STILL call each other Cera and Littlefoot. We, too, were dino-obsessed.

(To be fair, I also watch football, but for me, that's definitely the more mindless entertainment! And you never get gems like "prostitution whore.")

Dude, right? One time my roommate's ex-boyfriend stopped to observe while I was watching a Beverly Hills reunion (from the 2nd season, so obviously incredibly juicy as it was Brandi's first season and because of the fallout from Taylor and Russell). He then said, "Oh seachanged, you're such a smart girl... why are you…