Totally agreed. Upon years of reflection, I was “toxic” in that friendship in that I didn’t fully understand her lifestyle as a nomad and the related challenges that come with it, and I admittedly was often judgmental. My advice would revolve around “well change this one essential thing about your life and personality…

A Friend,

Yeah it’s pretty tough when those plans always get thrown sideways when anti abortion legislation closes clinics that are part of interstate partnerships. The thing is that the antis are very well organized and their voters show up to keep them in power. Ours don’t or can’t (via shitty voter suppression laws). We’re…

I completely trust that you work with great people who work hard. I did too when I worked there for years. But we both know there’s no guarantee any donated funds from regular lil ole donors go to abortion. PP has been throwing abortion under the bus for years (“it’s only 3% of what we do!”). OP was exasperated about…

We’ve already been talking about and planning for it for years, decades. This isn’t our first anti-abortion rodeo.

Not that you’re asking, but donating to PP doesn’t do much to support abortion anything.

Thank goodness for the cat! Those mice should be hiding scared somewhere else real soon...

Wow, that essay is amazing! Thank you for sharing it. I’m now looking up the author because I really enjoy her writing style.

Hey thanks for the rec! I just downloaded the audiobook this morning and am already 2 chapters in with my weekend chores. I love that this is written by an actual writer, and narrated by a professional narrator. It makes a huge different in the story, the listener being able to make connections to their own life, and…

I’m with you 10000% on the “keep the buzz going” mode. I so appreciate those early moments of the buzz, that even when my rational brain can shine through with, “you’re done. wrap it up and go home,” my drinking brain goes “nah, this is fun, I deserve to relax” and then I have 3, 5, 8 drinks — sometimes on a…

Thanks! And yeah — I have a friend who always brought a little cooler full of single-serve kombucha and seltzer waters to parties. She’d share them and drink them, just like people who bring a 6 pack to share. I realize now it was a great way for her to not drink while also helping others pace themselves. She always…

Great question about the sleep — she actually has a whole chapter about that because so many people use alcohol to get to sleep (I know I did when my anxiety was cranked up).

Thank you! And yes, I agree — I don’t think I would have felt this resolved in my decision to not drink. I’m taking it one month at a time — using the last day of the month to reflect on how I did on the previous month’s goals, and setting new goals for each month. I honestly didn’t expect to re-up my non-drinking…

I’m curious about the acupuncture! I’ve only tried it at health fairs, where they put a few in your ear and you sit at the back of the booth for 15 minutes. I’ve heard about its benefits in lots of different contexts, but just haven’t tried it for myself yet.

Long answer ahead:

Each phase of my life has led to consuming more and more alcohol. Being introduced to high school parties: start drinking. College: parties 3-4 nights a week, and benders on holidays. Post-college: Trying to meet new friends and create a new social life = going to bars and parties. Grad school: Everyone meets at the…

Yes — I actually journaled on that chapter after I listened to it (my first go at the book was on audio), because in stopping drinking I was able to keep my other new year goals, which turned into routines. I wanted to try one of those 30-day yoga journeys, and set aside time and space to do it every morning for a…

Glad to hear how the book was helpful and how you’re navigating your journey, congrats! And I agree — the parts of the book about the alcohol industry, and the parallels to the cigarette industry, and how they start targeting women specifically when men’s rates of use stagnate or start to decline.

Same thing with spates of concerning drinking behaviors. I actually found some old diaries from 12+ years ago when I was in my early/mind 20s. That person was a fucking train wreck, and she thought she was “handling” it all. Everything showed up, from severe mood swings to extreme weight fluctuations (and related…

I completely agree. I’ve only been at this 2 months, but I am BLOWN. AWAY. by how much advertising revolves around alcohol, in addition to socializing. I don’t even have regular/cable TV, just a Roku, and every fucking ad is Wild Turkey this or new spiked kombucha that.