Feel the rhythm with yours hands, steal the rhythm while you can. Spoon fan.

That’s pretty much what King felt about it as well. I read it before I had children. I’m not sure if I could re-read it now.

NASCAR ought to institute a rule where any on-track disagreements should be settled by punching Joey Logano in the face - regardless of if he was involved in the original disagreement or not.

Unfortunately for the trolls, Captain Marvel is dedicated to a fallen airman, so hating the movie means they hate the troops. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.

One day, when I’m president, we’ll ship every bro truck owner and stance driver to Guam.

On my BMW, left and right arrows on my dash... I am not sure what those are for.... 

This, then, is the true mark of realism in RDR 2.

We have deer that roam through the development I live in. Every now and then, one of them (usually a buck, though I’ve seen it in does, too) will get a burr up their butt and decide they want to fuck with a pedestrian (we’re a walking community, so there are often…

It would be great to see video of the crowd when Kanye comes over the loudspeakers: Confusion. Disgust. Realization who it is. Then awkwardly pretending to like it. Some clapping on 1 and 3.

But the question remains: Is it good? Because lemme tell you. If I have to spend 30 minutes on the shitter because of a good meal. So be it.

1. What part of this car is most like a horse?

This is, beat for beat, a reimagining  of The Fellowship of the Ring except for the fact that Samwise managed to find honey mustard. 

Damn, shouldn’t watch that so early, haven’t had coffee yet and now I have to redo my makeup.

If Johnny keeps sucking like this he’s going to be sent back down to the Browns.

How about we just shut down Twitter forever. And Facebook while we're at it.

I like people that didn’t pick up a ball off the ground and dunk it into their beer.

Why do you hate the military and America?

Long time ago me and my brother Porsche here,
We was hitchhikin’ down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon.
In the middle of the road.
And he said:
“Build the best car in the world, or I’ll eat your soul.”

Not only did it connect to the best gearbox in the world, it was perfectly non-nonsense get-the-job-done in design. Most importantly it wasn't a stupid ball, it was a stick. You held the side of it with your arm on the tunnel so it was stick shaped and palm sized to get the job done.