We have a term for those men. It’s “dumb men”

Nope. I’d totally be into that. Although I guess that negates the part where it is rape. my aversion to prison rape is 90% gay panic.

When are they going to allow us menz in our thirties to get it? I really don’t want to develop oral cancer from cunnilingus. I want to develop it from a lifetime of smoking

U2 will always have a place in my heart even if I don’t see myself ever convivially sitting down to listen to their catalogue again. I get super irritated when people go after Bono for trying to save the world. Like ok, mr. Cynic, what’s a better use of his time and fame?

But every time I listen someone says something so stupid that I have to post about it on the Internet

I feel like the only reason I can't follow this it is because I'm too bored to pay attention

Once I googled “big dick joi” because I wanted to have a fantasy woman tell me I’m big as I massaged my average wang to orgasm in my parents’ basement. The woman asks small and average guys to stop watching at the start of the video. Then spends the rest of the video talking about how she is glad only big guys are…

as you get older your music tastes get lamer and your porn searches get creepier.

Their instructions are the worst. “Slowly start at the base and move to the end”. Nope, I'm trying to get this over with as quickly as possible because you aren't really here

Sometimes I just straight up search “femdom” and “face-sitting” because to skip the middle man, but always end up running into something that ruins it for me. Why all the ball kicking? Who is possibly into drinking the semen of their wife’s more virile lover? Just call me mean names and slap my face please

I'll break it down for you: The teen is the one played by a 23 year old. The 25 year old plays the milf

Surgeons score really high on the narcissism/sociopathy spectrum. Higher than your typical ceo

Let’s just say I didn’t have the foresight to study a field that I wanted to work in during school and am now too poor to work an internship/go back to school, you know, for argument’s sake. Should I still be trying to find my passion or should I just accept that life’s passed me by and continue to work jobs I hate…

As I was typing “no one cares...”, I saw the picture and got one too

First of all I love your name. Second of all, everyone knows George is based on Larry David. My point is that Elaine is also given a lot of David’s exact hang ups and misanthropy

You can watch that clip on YouTube for free. In fact, it might be considered a form of protest. Which is what I'm going to tell myself because ruby is so damn cute in that scene

I didn't hear of this shit until the Internet exploded last year, but that is literally insane. Fuck Hollywood

And that's why I steal all of the media I consume. Thanks, internet

Isn't Elaine essentially Larry David with ovaries? Every time I watch Seinfeld I'm also like, hey Elaine is really adorable and also talking like an episode of curb your enthusiasm