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    I feel like the main reason this type of porn is becoming popular is that people suck at meeting people today. There’s a bunch of people out there who can’t imagine having sex unless it’s with someone who just happens to live with them.

    The last time I was at Nellie’s I was there with a group of women and a dude who works for the Republican Party on the hill and is probably deeply closeted. He was super uncomfortable and kept worrying that someone would see him there and assume he was gay. So I took my shirt off after a few drinks and took a bunch of

    I was supposed to fly to South Carolina to see my family for the fourth. I spent a few hours looking at YouTube videos of plane crashes the night before my flight and ended up calling my family and telling them I couldn’t come. The plane apparently didn’t crash, but there’s still a chance my return flight will crash

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    I’m now picturing you as miss debose from to kill a mocking bird

    I say “I love you” to family all the time on the phone, and since they are the only people I usually call (friends are texted or greeted face to face) I occasionally accidentally say it to casual acquaintances and women I’m casually dating. It’s a problem

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    Tink’s song is decent but I feel like “one in a million” should be sacred and left untouched. It’s a perfect song:

    Paraphrasing here but, as Chris Rock explained, “all a relationship is is eating and fucking. If you don’t like eating with somebody and you don’t like fuckin em- than ya’ll don’t need to be together. All you do is talk eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you go to your momma’s house

    As we speak the gorilla is outside your door and waiting for the poll results.

    It's the eyebrows

    He may have muscles, but gorillas have notoriously tiny wangs. Just a thought

    Notallisis#

    The more I read about ISIS the more I don’t like them.

    Plot twist: the comment backing Don was written by a 15 year old atheist who lolling the whole time

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    In related news, this is still the happiest video on the Internet:

    It’s like you never watched the early a days of the awesome video games/video games awesome channel. And you call yourself a man

    “Chick” isn’t equivelant to “dude” in the larger culture, moron. The word you are looking for is “dudette”