I just want news stories with people being nice to each other. I'm slowly becoming my grandmother

This is mostly unrelated but last week I saw Jurassic World in 3D at the Uptown, and it was so awesome that I went home and ordered the book that got me into the T-Rex in the first place and today it arrived:

That's an awesome shirt

These made me really happy. This should be a thing where you all occasionally break up the “we’re all fucked” stories with something like this.

Than the terrorists* haven’t won.

My first job after college was with the Eurasian department of the International Republican Institute. My boss required me to wear a suit every day because he comes from a legal background, despite the fact that I was the only other man in our department and the women were free to wear dresses, and that every other…

So you’re saying that John Gray’s bestseller was a bunch of bullshit?

His name is bobby fingers for christsakes. He never had a chance

Must be a New York trend. Down in DC it’s disgusting, and everybody is as naked as society/their employer will permit

It's like they're from Venus or something

“I’d” is a contraction for “I would”, not “I will”. “I will kick the dogshit out of you” is not a fact because it is contingent on the two of us being in close proximity at some point in the future. “I would kick the dogshit out of you” is a fact because if you ever met me in person (and I’ve got posts where you could…

I love how many Jezebel staffers are apparently wearing blankets all day

Um, he's on your stupid side, dude

i wasn't angry. Just stating a fact

I bump my head maybe two or three times a week to this day. I'm 32

Ahahaha it took you all day to come up with that response

Also do tweets count as speaking ex cathedra? Is anyone but that woman assuming they do?

He looks like a bad guy, but not the main bad guy, from a kids sports movie in the 90s

This response. This is the perfect response