I want to salute your comment

Agreed except I drink regular coke because I'm a real American an unconcerned about my expanding waistline/diabetes

There is no god

I smuggled in nattys. Regularly

Your opinions on regular Pepsi are spot on, but according to my vague memories of being an 8 year old: your opinion of Crystal Pepsi is bad and you should feel bad

This news makes me so happy that I’m going to grace the comment sections with this dumb disgusting bro video that is not for the faint of heart, but is for crystal Pepsi lovers:

You wanna know how many unrequited high fives I’ve attempted in the last two days?

Mostly frustration that the doses are so small

I like that when you're faced with the incomprehensible you assume that there is some information that you are missing whereas I immediately assumed it doesn't make sense because Chris Brown is a big dummy.

I may not like you, but goddamn it, I respect you, Bears.

I have no thoughts on Selena Gomez, but you comment reminded me that this song exists and that I can blast it while slowly driving around being chill, so thank you?

Chris Brown inserted himself into a photo of 2pac and Suge Knight that was taken literally minutes before 2pac was murdered. Like that is just horrifically poor taste

At least when you saw that you didn’t immediately think of the time Dennis Wilson married Mike Love’s 18 year old daughter after getting her pregnant at 16. In case you don't know, they are cousins and the least talented members of the beach boys; and I am ashamed of myself for knowing this.

That and

Btw, I just got the joke in your last line because I wasn't reading closely. Phenomenal

you asked the wrong dude that question. I’d totally be down.

Exactly. The problem with catcalling is that it’s done by men and many men (don’t worry, #notallmen) are actually dangerous. The only people who make me take defensive actions and get ready for a fight are men who occasionally scream aggressive things at me in public. Basically maybe the answer is that men have to…

“I sleep in a big bed with my wife”

Imagine if women yelled that at me on the street. At least people would stop telling me that I need to love myself and be like, “yeah, I guess women aren’t into you”