You’d think someone with a title like “Chief Knowledge Officer” wouldn’t be so fucking stupid.

how many times are we going to do this dance?

Who could have anticipated something terrible and ignorant coming from a CrossFitter?

After what happened at the last state dinner with the “jambalaya” they served (actually some kind of rice pilaf), I expect the menu to be centered around roast pork, accompanied by an array of wines and a full open bar.

“Sometimes breaking old practice habits of these players, especially rookies, takes more repetitions.”

I won’t be satisfied until the team agrees to do this nevermore.

So are Trump’s hands as small as they say?

I enjoy the idea of Marchman getting punched in the face by some guy’s fresh jerk-off hand.

Well, last year some guy brushed by me on the street and called me a “fucking n-word”. After my aggressive diplomacy failed to convince him how unwise that was, I rocked him. After I let him get up he was able to throw some of his food on me, but the fucker still caught these hands.

thumbs-up’d to an empty arena

In college, stumbling home drunk with a friend, closer to daylight than midnight. Crossed a street, car got too close (probably not) and I said something bad. About 10 -15 seconds of stumbling later, I hear “look out” and one of the car occupants is running towards me with what I assumed was ill intent. I briefly…

Oh, Elmo was not fucking around. That’s just how things go in the Streets tho

I have no idea if this story is true or not, but I completely believe every bit of it because it’s true to me.

I’ve never been in an actual fight as I was always small and smart enough to know I’d get beat to shit.

My best friend and I dressed up as Burt and Ernie for halloween about 8 years ago. Went out and got pretty hammered at the bars, and then I see down the street, Cookie Monster, just standing there. Well I thought it was a good idea to jump on his back, we both fell to the ground, and that’s when I feel a shot to the…

I spent some time at a wonderful juvie facility when I was 16. When I got out, some local kids thought that I must be a tough SOB since I was in jail. I was happy to benefit from their misconception. It all was going swimmingly for me until one kid thought I was getting to alpha and challenged me to a fight by pushing…

Jfc Marchman, mouthing off to a Hell’s Angel? You got some huge balls man.

I miss all the good stuff by not being on Twitter. I’ve been in a few fights, but the one with the best story was when I was playing pick up basketball in high school and I was guarding Jason Sehorn’s brother (who was a punk ass piece of shit, by the way). He got pissed off that I blocked one of his shots, got me with…

I was walking to my car to drive home after high school. For some reason, I was barefoot. I can't recall why exactly. But as I headed to my car I stepped in a huge pile of dog shit. It was gross, but without anything to wipe off the dog shit right at that moment I thought it could wait. I got in the car and began…

It happened in little league. I stole second base. Stole that fucker good too...made it there standing up. But we were playing on a field that was in one of those baseball complexes that housed like four fields right next to each other, so right as I get to second I hear the ping of a bat. Now, I'm not paying…