Beautiful writing. My opinion is that there is never going to be a perfect time to have a baby. Not in your personal life, and certainly not in the world as a whole. So if you want to do it, go ahead.

Or just swap him out Becky-on-'Roseanne'-style if you have to. Please.

I'm kinda glad he's a piece of shit human, because he has one of those faces I just want to punch and punch until I can't punch anymore. I was going to feel that way anyway, so it's kind of nice to know it's justified.

Yeah, I'm over the courthouse thing. I'm more into a private little blood-oath ceremony followed by a potluck/orgy with some close friends.

Can we just go with "never?" It is NEVER ok to leave children or animals locked in a hot car. COME ON, people. This is Texas. Heat indexes are expected to reach 105 today, you could bake cookies on the windshield of your car. And it's just gonna stay this way until October. We ALL know this. We go through this EVERY…

My dad did something very similar to Alicia Silverstone.

I can't get on the Kardashian hate train. They're celebrities because people watch their shows, read about them, and buy shit that they're associated with- there's clearly a demand for them, so who's to blame them for making money off it?

Can't The View just go the fuck away already? It's like the TV version of Yahoo article comments.

UUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH. This is the tiniest, tiniest minority of 'rape victims'. I'm super serial. Please, MRAs and other hateful people, please please please just listen (or read) for ten seconds. Reporting or even discussing a rape that actually happened is painful, it's unpleasant, it invites almost every single reaction…

Yeah, Kim really had it rough from the tabloids when she was pregnant. Not wanting to go out is a perfectly rational response to bullying.

I assumed that Kim Kardashian meant that if you leave the house as a pregnant woman and dare to have any pregnancy style whatsoever that someone will pick you to pieces.

Sexism is determining that a corporation's right to religious freedom trumps a woman's human rights. That's what sexism is.

Women like Megyn Kelly, who spout insane regressive drivel that only serves to harm their own gender in return for a paycheck, make you realize why Dante dedicated the lowest circle of Hell to the traitorous.

Because if you understand how our government works, this is part of the system of checks and balances. The Supreme Court ruled based on the current laws of the land. If (hopefully when), this bill passes and is signed into law, then the Supreme Court will have to ensure that this law is upheld if anyone challenges…

Before settling on "Protect Women's Health from Corporate Interference Act", Murray and Udall considered the following alternate names:

I didn't realize he was 55 yrs old. What a fucking a martyr, huh? Willing to give a little dick to a woman 13 yrs younger than him. Wow.

I regularly shout "DO A DOLLOP OF DAISY" at my girlfriend in the most atonal, pain-wracked voice I can manage now.

One of the compatability questions on OK Cupid involves bringing coupons/groupons to a first date. I'd say aside from questions like, "Are black people inferior?" and "Does the government use chemicals in airplanes to control the weather?" that one is my biggest deal breaker.

"You know which character in Forrest Gump I envy? Lieutenant Dan's legs. Because they got to leave early."