Wear a fucking lanyard ID, you prick. Solidarity, bro.

how many congressmen are deadspin commenters?

This guy looks like witness #1 in The First 48. Always an accomplice at least.

This all started when his ex told him he peaked in high school.

this is a poop joke, right?

although he hasn’t played a down for the team yet, as he’s torn an Achilles tendon two offseasons running.

What is the best of type exercise I can do that will keep me feeling youthful as long as possible without delaying a merciful death? I’m so fucking conflicted these days.

Regarding tomcat and jesus… They’re both complete fucking idiots. Statistically, one of them is trolling and has no god damn better thing to do in life. but it’s funny… Everyone thinks he’s serious, but he’s not!!! LOLZZZZ ROFL OMGZZZZ! That’s why it’s so funny! It never really occurs to this guy that devoting a…