threaded tweets are shit anyway. get a blog, post a link, clap your hands after every word, etc

throne room is what i call my toilet tho lol i kill me

lol, actually i meant it'd be messed up if they weren't getting paid, because, like, civil rights etc

my entire opinion on this depends on how much they are getting paid

are synthetic fabric briefs less likely than dyed cotton to leave colorful bits of lint all over your junk?

if he loses, he could still write and produce a movie based on the whole ordeal, he could still call it "vamprechaun," or maybe "vamprechaun's chances"

never let it be said hakeem jeffries backs out of a dare

that was all cool except the music

settled out of court in exchange for a sean spicer endorsement

yeah yeah, too gritty, i don't watch predator movies to make myself want to die okay, next please

at least the comment window doesn't disappear if you accidentally scroll onto other articles. that's one good thing. one good thing about a bad thing, which maybe means it's still bad. idk. maybe the comment window is good and i'm bad. i'm not all bad, though. and maybe the new comment thing is also part bad and part…

i'm not upvoting any comments on this article. i think you get it

or they could, y'know, donate it to NPR, without whose responsible reportage trump would've surely been elected nine years ago

"not fueled by anything". you mean head shots aren't nutritious? get this man a mt dew

i don't use tinder, but that's pretty much the only reason i would, so

farmers only has a "no seriously, farmers only" section

two years ago

#ADayWithoutDeliveryPeople

there's a time and a place—for instance _________ ________ ________ ____________ _________ ________________ ____________________ ________________ _________________ __________________ _____________ _____________ _______ ___________—to do so

yeah okay i mean "one" doesn't need the …