Oh yeah, the plot to this new one is way more uplifting than the first…that is, if you choose the Good Ending…

Funny thing, allegedly the whole Evil Superman came about because NetherRealm was trying to come up with an explanation as to why all these characters, good and evil, were beating the shit out of each other. And while I personally enjoy the idea of Injustice (The execution is a separate matter), there has been…

If the story looks good to you, I highly recommend checking out the Story Mode on YouTube sometime.
Just a forewarning, though: Some characters aren't featured too heavily than others.

I was fine with the plot of the first game, largely because the heroes from the Prime Earth were there to reaffirm that their counterparts were not in the right, as much as they would love to claim. Overall, I didn't mind the story to this new one, though that sense of counterbalance is deeply missed. I mean, Wonder…

Wait, is the banana flavor an in-joke over that long running theory that Marley ripped off the Banana Splits for "Buffalo Soldier?"

Home to 6 stray cats to every 1 human…and absolutely zero birds, I'm assuming.

No matter how bass-ackwards the policies of the Trump Administration get, I can find solace as I fall asleep at night, thinking, "Well, at least we didn't elect Ted Cruz."

Oh, my bad.

To the film's credit, it's not too far off from his original characterization. It's just that he never does the whole human-sized form thing. Also, he was ostensibly more of a Thor villain than anything else.

So…you still like it then, albeit in an ironic fashion?

I actually harbored my fan theory that Adam Warlock was going to end up being Star-Lord's father for the longest time. Now, with him in a chamber that looks to be powered by an Infinity Stone, I'm looking forward to whatever direction they have in store for Infinity Wars.

That whole David Hasslehoff bit risked ruining the moment, but somehow Pratt pulled it off. Really heartfelt, honestly.

To paraphrase from noted modern sociologist Francis of the Filth:
You're so discontent with your life that you're arguing with people—you've never seen before—online. Who the fuck hurt you?

Now that's edgy as fuck!

I actually don't mind the Sovereign's presence in the movie, mainly because I begrudgingly respect Marvel for pulling a bait-and-switch with the marketing, making us believe they and Ayesha were going to be the main villains.

In the scene before, Peter was talking about how he never was able to play catch with his Dad like all the other kids did. In that context, I didn't mind the absurdity of the scene itself.

Did you see the mid-credits? They take the joke even further, presenting an adolescent, passive-aggressive Groot.

Um…I think it was just supposed to be a big gun power moment. Perhaps you're overthinking things.

That Zune joke was the most perfect thing you could have done in that ending, but I couldn't have come up with it myself for the life of me.

Funny story: The trailers opened up with that exact same Sam Jackson/Ryan Reynolds trailer, but the only difference for me was that the theater was nearly empty (A 12:30 screening, so only a handful of people were there), but also the audio was cut out of the projection, and wasn't fixed until the trailer was finished…