Is everyone fucking around and pretending to NOT understand that was satire?

And this strikes me as someone who doesn’t get satire or understand that Leto never actually did any of this.

How are people like you alive? People this stupid usually kill themselves sliding down the top deck staircase rail at a baseball game when they were 15.

Wait, just to be clear — the entire piece quoted in the article was fake. I think we’re all pretending, here, right? Like with the “Go 13-1 Undefeated Panthers” stuff. It’s just fun to go along with the conceit?

Poe’s Law going hard today.

You should read the article, since its a joke

When I started reading this story I was on the toilet, but I found it so raw and edgy that I fell off the toilet and shit myself. Then, laying on the floor in a puddle of Christmas shit, I took a selfie. I then made that shit selfie the wallpaper on my phone and computer. Cuz I'm twisted and dark, just like Jared Leto.

Probably the shortest free-form Jazz performance ever.

There were literally zero Vikings fans who thought Christian Ponder was the answer. He was booed out of Minnesota. There is a reason the fans love Teddy. Name a “franchise QB” who was this good at 23 years old. I’ll wait.

Ignorance of football terms is no longer funny, acceptable, or tolerable.

I am because I don’t talk about golf when at parties

I’d rather see “child of a Pinterest mom”.

+4th place

Run screaming and naked to the heart of the nearest subarctic forest. Once there, slay a male reindeer in one-on-one combat with your bare hands. Strip your vanquished holiday foe’s skin from his body and leave the meat for the hungry wolves, who have been tracking you since you entered the woods and will make better…

Gregg Popovich is the cranky old uncle who on your 18th birthday gives you the best advice you will ever hear in your lifetime, something that you will carry in your heart for the rest of your days.

Bill Belichick is the cranky old uncle who loses you in a card game with heroin dealers.

Why don’t we have a 5-point shot? A 7-point shot?

Sage Northcutt sounds like a brand of bacon or chewing tobacco.

Looking forward to this card made up solely of teen Vine stars.

Keo’s twitter bio is “Disciple of Christ disguised as a professional athlete,” which...sounds like a fun movie premise that would be absolutely ruined by whomever tried to make it.

He wore #4. There was no “0” in front of the #4. Your post is out of bounds.