I’m not black (like Foster), I’m not female (like Ennis). I didn’t say it was solely a women’s issue. The inclusion of the details regarding my size and economic status have to do with me being less likely to be a victim (in many senses of the word). The gist is that I’m privileged to have avoided domestic violence…

We should hold hands.

I don’t know the answer to that. But I know I’m not qualified since I’m a large middle-class white male who has never been (or felt like) a victim and has no special knowledge about this case. Basically, my opinion doesn’t come from a place of understanding or experience compared to those involved. So I figured I’d…

You’re adorable. I love you.

In a non-surprising twist, the vast majority of commenters on this article will share your level of competence but not your level of self-awareness. Cheers.

I recognize that I am not qualified to speak on this case or the larger issue of domestic violence. So I won’t. Hope everyone has a great Friday.

If you read enough sports blogs you know when a good take is coming. It will name drop jocks from at least three sports. It will have parallel sentence structure. It will end with a swear word and an exclamation point. Fuck, yeah!

Actually, they had to win 22 games and draw 11, resulting in a point total that exceeds any other football club in the English Premier League.

It’s really the best way to crown a champion. The team that was the best thoughout the season won the title...not the team that got “hot” at the end of the season.

Outside of competing clergymen vying to be the next Pope, no one cheers more for the demise of Cardinals than the Deadspin community. Amen for that.

The Texans got destroyed in the playoffs. The Astros are 5-11. The Rockets were the most disappointing team in the league. HOUSTON IS LITERALLY UNDERWATER.

Don’t feel too bad, MTV. An error like this...it’s not unusual. It happens every day. No matter what you say. You find it happens all the time.

What? No, not really. I just felt like making fun of my absolutely beautiful home state, which gets ruined by the bigoted and backwards thinking of the people running it.

“Well, I can tell you what happened here. We would have turned off the sprinklers but with all the gays in this state we’re too busy denying rights and trying to make the Bible our state’s official book (because it wasn’t before, you see) to worry about little things like this.

Fuckin’ truthers.

Well, to be fair, I don’t blame Philly people for being oblivious to the NBA. It’s been awhile since they’ve seen professional hoops there.

Speaking of Insane:

“Hello, friends! Which one of you wants to pull really hard on my necktie while I jerk myself off to completion?”

More like Nosuch Dame, amirite???