2017 Q1 =/= “NOW”

These are the boring stuff we want you to stop talking about:

The “luxury package” version is hideous. I kinda like the green one with real truck wheels, at least it looks functional. I don’t see the point of a pickup truck for going to cocktail parties in luxury hotels.

The shitty “SUV” from Tesla costs $150,000. I know the one I’d take for this kind of money I don’t have but I’d lease to show my social status wannabe to my neighbours as a proud american.

Why does the title has to mention that he is disabled? And how about his skin color too? Oh yes, as an american media you have to dramatize everything and try to get gasps and tears from your audience.

I like what Tesla is doing in general, but $150,000 for a SUV of this size, look and finish quality... no f way

You should be ashamed about your lack of “tech” knowledge as a “tech writer”. The entire world moved far away from SMS circa 2008. And I’m pretty sure I don’t use an iPhone since a couple of years. So, educate yourself, educate your friends...and if the “green bubble” is really your excuse, you should work at your…

Looks bad.

It took 85 years to multitool companies to bend the screwdriver so that it can be aligned with the center? Wow, revolution.

If you want to understand how a car engine works or even just a car works without having to break every 12 meters on a clear highway or in middle of turns after 15 years experience of driving, there is no question about manual learning as a new driver. “Automotive education experts” against that are just morons. Is…

I “love” jalopnik, everything that is not a bmw/miata/british/north-euro/japan-only car and manual is a shitbox. Yet we have here 12 articles a day praising Tesla and embracing the fact you can pre-order a (already visually boring) mid-sized car that you will get in 2 years.

Stealth brag?

Do you crash your car and set fire to it when you see a spider or a bee outside while sitting INSIDE your car? No? Ok, next.

People like you need to understand that meme jokes like that or “you sir, win the internet, here is a cookie” are not funny. At all. At least since 2008.

Hope you have pastel or white bermuda shorts and boat shoes to go with this shirt. You need to wear the shoes sockless, just in case.

Innocent and a bit unrelated question, did these five women only found out who was that guy that assaulted them 3o years ago and decided to come forward yesterday?

I’ve never hated the Prius, and it is a milestone in the car industry. But that restyling is awful and deserve a recall for that reason only.

Boooh these people don’t have random killing or gangsta fantasies, boooooooh them.

Can’t wait for the post teaching us how to use the full available memory on 3,5" floppy disks.

I thought that WILL.I.AM gave up designing cars :(