Think before drinking and driving, think before unprotected sex, think before pointing the gun at my neighbor, and now I gotta think about recycling black plastic?

Say “Get the fuck out of my bar”.

I think I'm pretty bougie and I still don't know what a bath sheet even is

I think I'm pretty bougie and I still don't know what a bath sheet even is

“I want chicken nuggets and a beer”

Hops are bitter to many people; stick to low hops or just ditch beer altogether and go to ciders. Ciders are adult juice, and you don’t have to suffer through something that doesn’t taste good.

Look at Rockefeller over here with his three dozen beers and his Costco membership.

You beer snobs and your glass bottles.  I get plenty of appreciation out of my 36 pack of Miller Lite cans from Costco.

Huh? 

Oh my jesus the complaining about air travel in this country.

Not an issue with plastic corks! #keepitclassy

I had severe postpartum depression that led to addiction and temporarily losing custody of my child. This movie is still fucking dumb.

You say that like it’s a bad thing

And after a month of cleaning out a garlic press, you go back to cutting it by hand.

And after a month of cleaning out a garlic press, you go back to cutting it by hand.

You have never heard or watched ITHOTN?!? Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you under 30? Because most people my age have see or heard of it. Mostly because”Archie Bunker” started in the tv series remake.

How do I know you are a real writer?

I had the exact same thought:  “Wait, the Irish are in on it too?!?”

Or instead of boycotting, I will continue to use it, since I am intelligent enough to not believe Russian propaganda.