I needed good news tonight. This is great!

"He'd better not be gay, or I'll be very upset."

Jesus Christ, I knew The Maltese Falcon was due for a remake, but what the fuck?!

"Looks like some libtard hates free speech!"

*Linus angrily tweets out scrappybilly's address*

Talking to a talking pile of shit isn't the same thing as being one. And better for Maher to talk to him than someone from WND (which, by the way, is a website you should never go to).

Heat Miser was a bit grouchy, but ultimately allowed snow in the south when his mother demanded it, causing for Mayor Southern Mustache to proclaim global warming "China stuff."

Dude, apologize to Heat Miser. Right the fuck now!

Well, if you incest…

~The Human Centipede 4

Seriously, when this piece of sentient garbage exists, I have no time to be "outraged" over something silly Bill Maher says.

No, but I'm very confused by why they hate Maher so much here when we have a President who could launch us into World War III if North Korea says something about his bottled water or something.

People haven't talked about Sarah Palin being dumb in nearly a decade? Could've sworn I've seen the articles on this website do so within the last month.

I copyrighted that joke. You're going down!

*Mel Gibson starts production of a Jay-Z biopic immediately*

Stephen King's The Twitter

Downvoted.

"The conspiracy is huge and the army is wide! I did not pee on that boy and I don't drink pee AND it does make you a bad person the army against me is so huge man."

It was probably because of Biggs that Porkins got barbecued. Fuck Biggs!

Wait, there's a right comments section for this?