*sighs*

Thanks, man! I got sick one day and had to blow my nose, fuck, a thousand times? Doing that with a mustache was a goddamned nightmare that I've never forgotten and haven't had the 'stache since.

My class song in high school was that goddamn Greenday song, Time of your Life, and nothing I said was enough to change the minds of the powers that be.

Using my AV Club classic login, on some nights it's literally impossible to check notifications on my phone. It'll load, load, stop loading, then quit altogether. Will that happen with Kinja?

Mine is a years-old picture of myself with my cat. In that picture I'm 22, 23 maybe? But look about 46.

Ugh, I'm preparing myself for seeing the same Simpsons quote joke response 15 times per comment.

Hey what if we end up being one of the good spinoffs? Like that one serious one with Ed Asner.

That commercial played when I was at a bar and someone shouted "CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL BEFORE I CRY!"

Just like Carrie. Poor girl had to kill everyone.

Can it be set to that one "sad-looking dogs commercial" song that always plays on TV?

I'm on the list! I feel like the most popular girl at the dance!

Congratulations, doesitmatter, you just ruined one of my favorite movies.

I kind of wish we'd done something more special for our last day. Like a beauty pageant or a pot luck or something.

Sundays, I watch GoT and Twin Peaks… it's a fair compromise to have one show have ravens that can travel faster than the speed of sound and another show where one goddamned conversation has so far been spread out for three episodes.

Damn seeing all these farewell posts makes me feel like I'm watching a terrific last episode of something. I'm gonna stick around, so I'll be in the shitty spinoff everyone hates.

I'm curious to see what's going to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow will either find the AV Club as a smoking heap of rubble with just a few of the original commentariat wandering around, all of us survivors being chased down by hordes of trolls… or it'll be like the Y2K scare and everything will be fine.

This whole time, Tintin Quarantino was the New York Times!!

I have a question.

On my worst days, I look like that one terrorist dude, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

That is to truly know being moved on like a bitch.