A group of senators has criticized the Golden Globes for "glamorizing" e-cigs becauseLeonardo DiCaprio was smoking one in the crowd.

"Tiny capslock lady"

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A GOOD PERSONALITY BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT HAVE ONE

Sooooo, as a woman who turned 26 two days ago, I say the following:

What kind of maniac doesn't close a parenthesis?

Oh god, "Jerk It Out" by Caesars just started playing on Pandora.

CORRECT USE OF GO BACK TO GAWKER.

You know what, whatever Jez sent this letter in? You're an asshole. Your friends are assholes. Go back to fucking Gawker.

In response to Jimmy Kimmel's announcement that "Worst Twerk Fail EVER - Girl Catches Fire" was staged, Sandor Clegane aka The Hound released the following statement,

Fun fact: when I was a little kid, I thought it was the "Rushin' River." As if the water flowed really, really fast!

In 5th grade, I learned an olde-tymey classic song, it went like this:

Waffle taco? Feh, old news. This is the shit now at Jack in the Box.

Trebek: And the category for Final Jeopardy! is "People". And the clue is:

[removes human suit]

That kid handled it WAY better than I would have at that age.

On a related note, I now have a new phrase to use when referring to my children. "Let me introduce my sexually transmitted demons..."

Meanwhile, in a charming documentary on 17th century New England...

My ex gave me Beelzebub once, but it really was not that bad. I had no symptoms and did not discover it until I had my annual physical. My doctor sent me home with a bottle of consecrated hosts that I had to take for a week and I was pretty much good to go after that.

Is the FDA OK'ing an STDemon vaccine anytime soon? they should get right on it.