in Orem, Utah; El Segundo California; Perth, Australia; back to El Segundo

A family of candy asses.

Clearly he misinterpreted what a Jugs machine is intended for

It was the Os Johnny had trouble with. He had no trouble with the Xs.

I’m a full-time stay-at-home dad to my 2-year-old daughter and part-time college student.

Everything about this shot is perfect. Chip Somodevilla deserves a fucking Pulitzer for this: photographic timing, capturing the pocket square in the background, everything. I love this so much.

Apparently getting “Blazed for lunch” doesn’t involve supporting your teammates pizza chain.

He probably just posted it on social media. Local news stations always looking for stuff like this for fluff pieces. And if it trends enough he’ll end up on GMA or the Today Show.

Trynna get the whole pipe

Good god how did you get through the cutscenes

“Wait, we can swear?” - the previous 157 victims

“They’re too immature.” - Man who at 39 got drunk, crashed his car into a telephone pole and then fled into the woods.

Last night they got smushed all over the court by a tragic keyboard incident called “Jakob Poeltl.”

Are we surprised the Jets and the Sharks are beefing? Time for a musical number to solve everything.

[Marv Albert voice] From way downtown!

Nothing like getting served, pestered by Sherrifs & taken to court over a Will that myself and my sisters are not only 100% excluded from but do not even have any interest in contesting in the first place.

In the words of one Vince Staples:
Respect DeMar DeRozen

stay home to screencap christmas day NBA games

I’m already making up excuses to get out of going to those and I’m not even a father yet.

Intentional strikeout question. What about this scenario? Your team is comfortably ahead, it starts to rain hard and it’s only going to get worse. You want to get to an official complete game before the game is cancelled for weather.