And this is why the “Would Kentucky beat the 76ers/Alabama beat the Browns?” arguments are horrible, stupid takes. No. Never.

Tom had the greatest Twitter burn of all time:

But he’s already been signed...

Worse than the guy at the blackjack table who constantly calls it poker?

...become a good rapper who makes good songs, or get out of the way to make space for someone who will.

#WhiteLivesCantJump

Hi—I’d like you to explain the implicit logic behind the argument in this bad internet comment. You seem to be saying that rather than looking into whether stories are true or not, we should just take people at their word and run what they say. Is that what you’re saying? If so, what made you arrive at this position?…

“But rather than letting perfect be the enemy of good, let’s acknowledge that this is at least a step in the right direction.”

unlike weed you would need to smoke a whole “blunt” of it to get high

Yeah, but it’s even more unlikely than your description Tim! To be run out, the ball must touch a member of the fielding side before hitting the stumps. So if the ball had cannoned off Nevill’s bat straight into the stumps (unlikely in itself), it would *not* have been out. The ball *had* to cannon off Zampa’s face,…

The World Wide Leader will survive. Just lay off a few hundred minimum wage assistants.

Oh come on, like you’ve never immediately discarded a jack sock seconds after finishing

Good, but not the best.

Yes, there’s a cat in a football stadium in the lap of a guy who’s wearing the jersey of a team that was playing 600 miles away in three hours. But the longing look in his eyes as if he’d just found his furry soulmate is what really sells it.

White dude

I don’t go to Vegas very often so I don’t know the protocol, but if I were a celebrity, sat down at a blackjack table, and the dealer exclaimed my name when looking at my ID, I would take my ID back, leave the casino and never go there again.

Isn’t part of the whole deal in Vegas discretion?

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a meat cleaver is a good guy with a katana.

Brady is going to side with Trump, since that towel-head Cam Newton is a huge threat to Brady winning another Super Bowl.