Opinion:

Truck drivers are already expected to watch porn on their smartphones and drive and now you want them to watch another screen at the same time? Even professionals have their limits, sir!

I think the funniest part of the Mercedes Illuminated star is that you can only get it if you cheap out on options that really matter, like adaptive cruise and automatic emergency braking. You are literally making your MB shittier from the factory for the sake of adding the “look at me” emblem.

The year is 29371 CE.

Just doing some quick math here, assuming it’s around what they currently sell for, it’d be around $93K +TTT, so... $105K, plus some options, which means you’d likely land around $115K. Since Audi’s tend to age like a fine... uhm, bread... let’s assume it’s going to be worth $48K in 36 months.

Bullshit. I’ve had better roadrash from fucking on carpet.

Agreed, but most people would rather have a set of tires last 80,000 miles than have a set of tires with better grip to keep them out of accidents.

You’ve been promoted to Lexus product planner. 

MKZ is probably... fine. Also in the entry luxury category, I suggest Acura TLX. This one’s only 27K miles:

Acura TSX and the Acura TL are both great options with reliable drive trains that won’t disappoint. I am vehemently opposed to FWD in most cases, for admittedly irrational reasons, but even I cannot deny the reliable gentleman’s sport sedan appeal of the Acura TL A-Spec.

You can get 2015-2017 Mazda 6 Touring and Grand Touring models for $20k all day long.

The LeSabre...

2014 Hyundai Genesis.

I'd rather have the Viper.

Same deal here with a ‘17 FiST in 2018. It’s still a fucking Fiesta but it’s reliable and a surprisingly good road trip car. Sure, call it a “shit box” if every car under $20k new is, otherwise I think it’s a fucking steal at $18k with a modern MMI and amazingly responsive handling/driving that’s hard to find in…

The Q50 = G37 sedan

I am that guy. Picked up a 2017 FiST for $5K under sticker, out the door, at a rural dealership (think 100 F-150's and one Fiesta).

“...because the BMW parts will likely be more reliable than the Jaguar/Land Rover ones.”

Neutral: VW is smart, GM is stupid. Well, that goes without saying recently, but let me explain:

Why not just stick the Hellcats in the Compasses and let them destroy themselves?