Shout out to Kerr for giving the video guy credit.

If my girlfriend institutes this we’re going to lose the house.

LeSean McCoy is in al Qaeda.

UNC has vowed to the NCAA that they will look at how a smarter school does institutional control and they’ll copy it.

What does the other Jags fan think?

When you’re taking out the trash and you step in a strange liquid

He started the night facing away from her, but then turned over 13 times.

Did you have a plan to finish that sentence?

Yeah, because it’s fucking hilarious.

Timofey Mozgov: Oh, sure. Now they want Russian bath.

And I’m surprised his name is Fred and not Jim.

“You’re not following Cardinal Way.”

As long as you do it in writing.

When asked for comment, Mayweather said he didn’t understand what all the fuss was about — he’s completely comfortable fighting someone who can’t punch back.

Drew is sooooooo wrong on this. Floyd’s style is not cowardly, and it has nothing to do with his personal life. It’s actually the antithesis of his personal life. Outside the ring, Floyd is a hyper-insecure control-freak who loses his temper at the slightest provocation. Inside the ring, he’s preternaturally calm, who…

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

"Rwarrr hey Jhonny, I don't know what was in your practice bag but I ate it and now I want to run the bases a couple hundred times!"

It’s like Syracuse raped Wyoming.

Dear tips@deadspin.com. Please turn this into words on a page so that I can consume it. Sincerely, 85% of your readers.