Are there people for whom Mighty Ducks is some kind of cultural touchstone? I’m a 90s kid, I was in the target demo when this movie came out, and even then I thought it was a piece of crap, an overpriced marketing scheme for Disney’s expansion hockey franchise. I know a couple of poor slobs who did end up liking the…

I feel you. I once said “There is no fucking way they can make a Speed 2. It just wouldn’t make sense! How would it even make sense?”

So many words to show your entire asshole.

But did he lead off with Whoa Black Betty?

D.C. is full of sex perverts.

I suppose you want to take my baby’s gun away too.

I’m sitting in a chair and I think that sideline move broke my ankles. Damn.

Here’s to hoping the station spontaneously combusts when they read the news.

The nearest orthopedist.

Good thing I’m not a professional attacker, otherwise I’d be out of a job.

Consent?

Barry Bonds with 73, dumbass.

More like, best IT team in NL history amirite?

Mine

“I love my mama very much, and now you know that”.

You should lose 200 points for such an abominable team name.

Josh Donaldson is good at baseball and I’m pretty sure I’d never want to have a conversation with or be around him.

*scrolls down*

Just to be clear though, it’s funny that the Cubs and Cardinals are the only teams who have to end their vacation early.

Very impressive. Every time I try to imitate college I end up unspeakably lit and lose a shoe.