Pro tip: buy all of your shit a couple days after the holiday. Bored-ass folks in the store will start making up discounts just to unload some stock. After a weekend in Ogunquit a couple years ago I walked out of the store with so much kablooey that I still have some goodies left. Plus a couple t-shirts and pint…

Easy fix: Rebrand and keep the manchild away from it.

I’ve worked at bases all over the world and I can say that the Filipino folks contracting for AAFES or the DoD are some of the nicest, most helpful people you will run into.

There’s a (broad brush) reason for this: Men outnumber women in the military about 3 to 1. This gives even the least attractive, least intelligent, most toxic women a hotness handicap. An Orange County “3" is a Fort Liberty “10". That, and male GIs will stick it in anything with bewbs and a hoo-ha.

Dad took me to Supercross at the LA Coliseum when I was about 5. The Big Stunt between heats was a dude on a chopper with a hang glider who jumped from the top of the coliseum down to the track. In anticipation of the stunt I thought I was about to witness the birth of a new form of transportation.

This would have been so much better with an explosion.

“Brokeback Dictators” plot synopsis:

Most of their issues happened whilst trying to charge the bikes outdoors, overnight, in the cold, in southern Chile. I don’t even ride my Energica in the winter; that’s what my poseur ADV bike is for (yes, I bought a Bimmer GS after watching LWR).

Long Way Up is a lesson in mitigating range anxiety.

Anytime I hear “Coffee & TV” by Blur I feel the need to stop being such a pansie-arsed asrsehole and just get on with it. BTW, when Prime or whoever bought it they stripped out the original score and replaced it with garbage uncopyrighted music.

It was a subjective statement. I can say it’s boomshanka diddly beep boop if I want, thank you ever so much.

You’re high. That is a thing of beauty.

Doctor says I have too much meat in my arteries, too! Maybe she has little trucks that can plow it out for me?

Fuck Dan O’Brien and fuck his stupid high-pitched cartoon character.

All

Kevin James had a NASCAR show? Or for that matter, Kevin James was in something other than Mall Cop or King of Queens?

Let ‘em die. Then there are fewer helmetless riders. Simple.

CAN’T WAIT for his browser history to get hacked and posted on Reddit or something. You just know that human potato has some really funky kinks.

Pictured: Ozark Municipal Court Judge Nicholas Bull

This new Prius fucks.