If he did, he wouldn’t be able to talk about the case (ie bust on Rodgers). And which do you think this sweaty bag of bad ideas is more worried about: losing money or losing face?

“I’m sorry, but you opted out of line item 473, ‘Idiots Smashing a Kia Soul Through Your Door’ coverage. Claim denied. If only it had been a Rio...”

After throwing a 2-inch mall crawler lift (blocks & risers) and 35s on my wife’s ‘18 Sahara, we discovered the unrequited terror of having your steering wheel do the rhumba at 70 mph. I picked up the N3 steering stabilizer kit from Rough Country and the problem was 99% GONE. There is one bump just up the road from the…

Pro-tip: When passing a cyclist, “toot” your horn TWICE. That is generally understood as either a “hey, I’m passing” or “fellow cyclist here, rock on”. One “toot” feels like “get the F$%k off the road your tights-wearing nancy-boy!” The latter will get a water bottle tossed at you or a one-finger wave.

Much better than the initial proposal of a baby, an AR-15 and a crucifix

I don’t give two shits about this breakthrough tech; I just want that beast to replace my riding mower.

New business idea: fiberglass body parts for CyberTrucks (CyberTrukz?). Pennies on the dollar. Could even parlay all of that into carbon fiber body parts. Imagine a full carbon fiber Muskterbation mobile; still ugly as a donkey’s dick, but at least it’ll weigh less.

The only thing that stops an old man from going into diabetic shock is a good guy with a gun.

I grew up in the San Bernardino mountains in CA. I would drive 7 twisty miles of Hwy 18 in a ‘74 Bug with a sputtering 1600 cc flat four. I would basically put the pedal on the floor and keep it there until I got to school. The outer edges of my tires were always down to the radials by the time I’d break down and buy…

Southwest customers, amiright?

Anytime I see a headline containing “New Hampshire” and “guns” and/or “weed”, I cautiously click on that bait half-expecting to see a mugshot of my nephew.

I shop at Wal Mart. None of this strikes me as odd.

Dad bought a used diesel VW Rabbit in the eighties to rock as a commuter because gas prices. Base model, didn’t even have AC (can you even buy a new car today without AC?). By and by, he had to take Mom’s purebred Bluetick Coonhound to the vet and, of course, that pup puked all over the back seat. Dad took the…

But Fox immediately told me this was a terrorist...?

Dude in my office just bought a CHERRY 200X red Ranger. I have the new Ranger, but I am so jealous of his.

Sidebar: I recently learned from one of my millennial coworkers that anyone who is older than a millennial is a boomer. I had to explain to her where the term “baby-boomer” came from, but it was like showing a dog a card trick.

I shall manifest your vision into reality.

In the immortal words of Mitch Hedburg, “Bumper stickers are good way to tell me that you and I would never hang out.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but the Cybertruck just gets uglier every time I see it. 

The Ridgeline is about as Ridgeline as my left shoe.