“We need the 2nd Amendment to protect us from the government taking away our rights!”

Swartz has claimed he was shooting at a group of people throwing rocks at the border.

See, this is exactly why I don’t own a Huracan.

I think Honest Abe said it best

“Stealing large sums of money and filing fraudulent tax returns with the IRS are not crimes.”

“Whenever we read the obscene stories the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we call it the word of a demon rather than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has…

Carkour

Some may question what the Russians do and don’t understand about our culture, but I’m pretty sure they have a perfect grasp of trolling. 

Thoughts and Prayers

Holy shit I didn’t realize that all of those things numbers!

“The Constitution protects us from government”

Next time just grab crab legs.

“get a better fall guy” and “maybe Lyft drivers are more ok with being sexually  assaulted”

I note that he did not clarify what he’s learned.

but you see he’s a DISTRACTION. if kaepernick spent less time protesting systemic racism in this country and more time [squints at notes]...getting accused of sexual assault he could have a chance. 

this is like the 5th time he’s used a version of this apology. 

Playing it fast and loose with the meaning of the word “thought” there, friend.  (Also that series of semi-sentences was entirely irrelevant to the article, but guess you had to get it out anyway, huh?)

feed her to a bear

All articles should come with a footer pointing out that his mother, wife and in-laws all received visas whose legality is dubious. And of course, that his grandfather was a stateless refugee. And 80% of his (known) children are anchor babies!