So we’re looking for the one who thinks his wife AND mother are bitches? Hmmm...

Given their penchant for hypocrisy, we should choose the one that is really sanctimonious about topics that relate to women.

See what happened there?

Now try to process that not only do some people think he’s qualified to serve as president, but that share of people is approaching 45% of the electorate.

236 my ass. That’s the exact number of lbs. to sneak in under the obese classification for someone who is 6'3" (also note his height increased an inch in order to sneak in there too). I don’t buy it for a second. Not that commenting on women’s bodies would be cool if he were fit, but the hypocrisy and delusion are…

Donald Trump is really just an older version of the inarticulate assholes who bullied and teased me in middle school for being chubby. Just like them, he’s happy to tear down a person’s physical appearance, but as soon as you use an educated argument to counter him, he starts sputtering incoherent nonsense because he…

Between doubling down on calling a beauty queen fat and his insinuation that whoever hacked the DNC weighed 400 pounds Trump is revealing his weird focus on weight, and how much he obsesses over other people’s bodies. He clearly thinks gaining weight is the worst thing a person can possibly do. And he advocates for…

What really happened: She didn’t sleep with Donald.

Even those fuckers at Fox are starting to realize the kind of monster they’ve created. We are truly living through some interesting times, folks.

He’s Cartman. All grown up.

“I didn’t want to do it with Chelsea in the room,” Trump, a man who has cheated on at least two of his wives, told Sean Hannity about bringing up Bill Clinton’s infidelities. Classy!

Anyone who is a sentient being who’s seen one could certainly fill in the blanks. I haven’t seen a single traditional attack ad from Clinton; only ones comprised solely of his own audio.

Trump spent all weekend cramming for the debate.

It’s hilarious that Trump accused Hillary for ‘not having stamina’, while he couldn’t stand for 60 minutes of a debate without panting, sweating, and sniffling, while she stood there smiling, fresh as a daisy.

The number of guys in the world wearing speedos that are too small for them is one douche smaller today.

I had to giggle at the image of a lab coat with those sleeves.

And to slip this in (hopefully) before the “she’s only his spouse, none of this matters” crowd, let’s remind ourselves of how the right went after Michele Obama for the “real reason” she surrendered her law license, or Hilary Clinton for her legal work, her clothing choices, her hairstyle, you name it.

In this case…

Lock her up! Lock her up!

Jeez... you lie under oath one time - ONE TIME - and all of a sudden, everyone's all "Perjury this!" and "Suborning that!"

Kind of reminds me of the Chobani guy, who gave all of his employees shares in the company after it started being successful.