My husband mocks me for leaving half drunk glasses of water around the house. I tell him that I'm saving them to kill the aliens, like in the movie Signs.

I'm 54 and don't have children. I made that choice long ago and consider myself fortunate that my husband of 26 years shares my desire to not have children. We're looking at retirement and are talking about where we will live. We're seriously considering foreign retirement.

A fetus always trumps a woman. Especially if that woman is brown.

I saw Spring Break as an opportunity to work more hours at my shitty college jobs. I needed the money. So did all my friends.

Dogs don't fuck around batting it with their paws. They just eat it.

I'm not appalled at his t-shirt. I am, however, appalled at his fundamental lack of understanding of the First Amendment.

Yes. God awful. It was like an elastic band around your waist, with little garter belt thingies to attach to a huge, bulky, awkward pad about the size of a brick. To keep it even marginally in place, you had to tighten it up so the pad was practically shoved up your vagina.

We must protect that hymen!

I'm not allergic to calcium. But I have recently learned, that as a dialysis patient, I have to restrict my calcium intake.

And just what is this "letting yourself go?"

I've let myself go.

Wage theft. Unfortunately, it's common in some industries.

I like Twizzlers. I don't like the challenge.

The American wedding industrial complex is completely out of hand. It's absurd to spend this much on ONE DAY.

Amen. If I could fly unconscious, I would.

I've always thought that crippling women to the extent they can't walk, let alone run, was an expression of male dominance.

Hubby and I made a deal. He picks up the dog shit, and I clean the toilets.

Don't forget the lying. You have to tell them that signing the form will cause some kind of trauma, some kind of cancer, and likely sterility.

Exclusive campus club of privileged white boys shows revealed to show contempt toward people who are not them.

As my father would say, "Lindsay Graham is the north end of a south bound horse."