Speaking as a former defense lawyer, most of the time your client doesn't give you much to work with. So, you have to work with what you have and be creative. That's why whenever I hear wild ass defenses like this, I say to myself "Meh, that's all the lawyer's got."

Sorry bros. You can't launder that money enough to make it clean.

You mean like this?

God designed me to be a feminist. So there.

Oh, it's nice to know that I'm just "overheated." I thought it was menopause, not rage and disgust.

He's a "sugar daddy" if you don't marry him. If you marry him, he's a "good catch."

That was perfect.

My college experience was that frat boys were complete assholes and were protected by the administration. I recall one frat having a beach party, and the signs on their front lawn for days said ""fuck me" and "suck me." I complained, and nothing happened.

Unbelievable sad. This girl will have to live the rest of her life with having killed someone, because her parents and the instructor were COMPLETE DUMBFUCKS.

What? Something reasonable and thoughtful? In Arizona?

Kim Kardashian's dress looks like a saddle blanket.

It's kind of been a shitty week to be a woman.

Will. Not. Watch.

Not me.

At least this was in Florida. I got left in the car for hours, in Wyoming winters, when I was a kid.

Wow. And he makes a living giving people advice like this. He gives lawyers a bad name.

Sleep. It's the only way to endure air travel.

I've always felt empowered by letting someone else take care of me, and make all those hard decisions that just make my uterus hurt thinking about them. It's so much easier to just be an accessory and dress pretty.

Kind of makes me proud to be a Western girl. We're some tough bitches.

I'm underwhelmed.