[FARTS IN YOUR SOUP]

Oh my god that’s a real tweet from him.

You’re just now figuring this out?

Can’t we all just film our song.

Last Christmas, I burned down Kings landing.

Meh, I’ve had the horizontal lines since I was at least 16. shrug. God forbid a woman ages! I do fight against the grey hairs with box dye, though...

You must be fucking up when Logan Paul is the voice of reason...

I assume this happened somewhere in Canada’s vast interior. Anyone from a maritime province should know how to steam clams!

I love JVN and the comment is a little cold but it’s also true. If you have a cat and live in an apartment, you need screens!! I know at least 4-5 people who have lost cats this way and it’s tragic and so easily avoided and needs to be said. I am so paranoid I won’t even leave windows (with screens) open more than a…

The trickiest question is: can Scarlett Johannsson play the lead role in the film adaptation of the cup? One one hand, it’s from Japan. On the other hand it’s McDonalds.  On the third hand, it’s a cup.

Also, um, kinda buried the lede there? “Bridget Carroll’s sudden death in the basement of her parents’ country home.”

If things don’t work out for Lindsay with MbS, both Vladimir Putin and Rodrigo Duterte are also single at the moment. 

Snrk! Those Bushes never effing learn. I'm guessing he probably intended to say "white supremacist terrorism" but it had too many syllables so he just skipped to the end.

It’s fine if you want to be friends with this lady and listen to all her woo woo ramblings over a cup of tea, but if you are supporting her as a candidate you can fuck right off. 

This obsession with Hilary is the longest Trump has ever been faithful to one woman.

Never a tsunami when ya need one, amirite?

I would write to the station manager that you find it offensive and sexist that Ted Baxter would suggest any women smile more but especially a US Senator running for president. That he should be spoken to, apologize for being so offensive and if it ever happens again you will never watch their news again.

I have issues with Kamala Harris and her record, but I’d vote for her pretty easily.

Gabbard might be the lone Democratic candidate I’d actually truly struggle to cast a vote for come November 2020.