“TikiNazi scum out there who’s balls are shrinking...”

I’m sure there’s some German word for what I’m feeling.

I heard Jared Kushner knows how to attend meetings with foreign agents.

Supreme and unwarranted confidence and a lack of self-awareness... those traits sound so familiar. Do you work in the WH?

I hope it is! Fuck all of these people with the world’s biggest and rustiest nail.

Why Fireball?

I can’t take Benadryl because even the child dosage renders me useless.

I’m so embarrassed. I’m so embarrassed. I’m so embarrassed.

This clearly explains the rise of Lularoe leggings and Nerium skin products.

I have a .gif that I have been waiting since this Comey thing started for when they officially announce impeachment proceedings to use. Every day, every new article, I hope that it’s that wonderful news so I can plop that .gif with glee. It is still not that day, but I feel we are getting closer.

I think it’s some kind of sad “My life is miserable but I’m too boring to get an actual hobby so I’ll pretend I run a business” nonsense. Just drink heavily like the rest of us and stop trying to sell me charm bracelets and supplements, Becky.

Never has the term “barf bag” been so relevant. Fucking Christ on a bike he’s repulsive.

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS????

IKR? So it never occurred to these “trained” officers to get out of the way of a car that is backing up? Of course not. They have to go straight to deadly force when black people are involved. That seems to be their only option when if it involves us. There will be a big story about this for a while, the cop will…

She did! ۜ\(סּںסּَ` )/ۜ

I would buy any marijuana product that makes hot flashes go away

Society rewarded him for something that it shouldn’t reward him for: being big and being able to knock into other guys. Society fails the kid who lives in a shitty neighborhood who had the brains to be a scientist but not the books, teachers, or facilities to guide him there. Society failed the kids at Sandy Hook.…